Strength in Numbers

The following is my sermon from June 10, 2012 at Westminster Presbyterian Church in Raleigh, NC.  This was my first ever sermon! Can't wait to actually learn what I am doing...

^"20and the crowd came together again, so that they could not even eat. ²¹When his family heard it, they went out to restrain him, for people were saying, “He has gone out of his mind.” ²²And the scribes who came down from Jerusalem said, “He has Beelzebul, and by the ruler of the demons he casts out demons.” ²³And he called them to him, and spoke to them in parables, “How can Satan cast out Satan? ²⁴If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. ²⁵And if a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. ²⁶And if Satan has risen up against himself and is divided, he cannot stand, but his end has come. ²⁷But no one can enter a strong man’s house and plunder his property without first tying up the strong man; then indeed the house can be plundered.
²⁸“Truly I tell you, people will be forgiven for their sins and whatever blasphemies they utter; ²⁹but whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit can never have forgiveness, but is guilty of an eternal sin”— ³⁰for they had said, “He has an unclean spirit.”
³¹Then his mother and his brothers came; and standing outside, they sent to him and called him. ³²A crowd was sitting around him; and they said to him, “Your mother and your brothers and sisters are outside, asking for you.” ³³And he replied, “Who are my mother and my brothers?” ³⁴And looking at those who sat around him, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! ³⁵Whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother.” 
 Mark 3: 20-35, NRSV

Growing up in the Buck household was always interesting.  Anyone who has ever met my family probably understands where I am going with this.  Even if we set my over the top father to the side, as well as my very calm and understanding mother, we are left with three very opinionated girls who are always right- even when we are wrong.  Looking back on the twelve years when all three of us lived at home together, it is a wonder that my parents stuck around rather than hooking up the camper in the middle of the night and running away from our chaos.  The Buck girls form an interesting trio- when we agree on something, nothing can stop us. 

Our favorite thing to team up on? Sending our parents over the edge.  To this day, if the three of us are sitting around the table, it doesn’t matter who else is there- we WILL make sure that both Mom and Dad reach the point that they can’t stop laughing or have to leave the room because they can’t stand it anymore (this is also the point when Dad turns bright red- almost purple- and can’t breathe anymore).  When Felicity got married, her poor husband tried to reign us in one afternoon and quickly learned it wasn’t worth the effort (this warning now goes out to any guy that Noel or I bring home- just let us have our fun because it is much safer that way than to fight it).  The best part? We added Eric to our numbers and “the edge” is reached much quicker with him on our side.

But let me tell you- it is all too easy for three girls who are always right to disagree.  When we didn’t agree on something there were and sometimes still are tears, yelling, and slamming doors- once or twice we would even hear pictures fall off of the walls as a result of the tornado that just went through the house.  Even today, before we are left alone at Felicity’s house, Eric will give us a little lecture about behaving and not pushing things too far.  I don’t know he if realizes it, but he is now the equivalent to the tenured professor and will have to explain the inner workings of the Buck girls to the poor guys that end up with Noel and myself.

Looking back on our times together, I can’t help but understand what Jesus meant when he responded to the Scribes, using the picture of the divided home and kingdom.  At this point, Jesus is on his way to Jerusalem and has been casting out just a few demons along the way (something that is believed to only be possible if done by a magician).  The scribes of Jerusalem are not at all amused by this practice and have accused Jesus of being possessed by Beelzebul, the chief demon and the only one could give the power to cast out demons.  This charge is not one to be taken lightly, as anyone accused and found guilty of possession can be banished from the town.  I’m sure it doesn’t help Jesus out as his family is waiting outside to forcefully collect him, thinking he has lost his mind (I can only imagine how many times our parents wanted to have someone “forcefully collect” one or all of us girls because we had lost our mind…).  Between the continued events of Jesus casting out demons and the worries of his family, the Scribes think they have it made and they will be able to take care of the situation quickly and get home for dinner on time.  Little do they know what Jesus has up his sleeve…

Jesus responds to the scribes with a parable, an action on his part that I have come to call “Parabolyzing”, a combination of the greek word for parable, Parabole, and paralyze, since the audience always seems to freeze as soon as it happens.  In this instance, the parable is an extended proverb which turns the table on the scribes and shows them just how absurd their view is (if I have learned anything in seminary, it is that Jesus does have an art for making his opponents look like complete idiots by the time he is done- an art that my sisters and I always strive for and only sometimes succeeded at).  In this instance, Jesus uses the image of a divided house and kingdom.  “If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. ²⁵ If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.” Just to go ahead and wipe out some of the mystery that he is known for, Jesus continues to explain that if Satan opposes himself as the scribes are suggesting is the case, there is no way that he could stand and thus it would be his end. 

I can’t help but think that there is a hidden meaning here however, beyond the immediate discussion at hand because Jesus loved to throw in a double meaning in his parables.  As he looks out at the crowd gathered in and around the outside of the house, it is almost impossible not to see that there is a great division- those who think Jesus has lost his ever-lovin mind and those who believe his words and actions whole-heartedly.  This division has caused a huge uproar and the figurative house is already crumbling in rage and argument over the case at hand.  However, staying true to form, Jesus does not stop here.

“No one can enter a strong man's house and carry off his possessions unless he first ties up the strong man. Then he can rob his house.”  Jesus is basically saying, “Come on guys- I couldn’t cast out these demons if there wasn’t something more to me than there is to Satan.  I am only human, but God is acting through me, thus the success in casting them out!”  It is important to remember here that the only “people” who recognize who Jesus really is at this point are the demons whom he is casting out- and Jesus is doing his best to keep it that way!  Hence, the parabolyzing that is going on- Jesus doesn’t want to give it all away at once, but he does want to make them think about what they are actually saying and doing.

Can you imagine the look on the scribes face at this point? I see them as bewildered, flustered, scared- even shrinking in stature just a bit as they realize that they have nothing to come back with to support their charge that they originally brought against Jesus.  The room is probably silent, yet there are multitudes of people standing around- inside and out.

Taking advantage of the moment of silence, Jesus throws one last comment out- the sprinkles on top of the icing that he already put on the cake (this is the point when my Dad would have yelled at us girls for pushing a point too far and sent us to our room until further notice).  Jesus explains that anyone who blasphemes the Holy Spirit can never have forgiveness, and further, they are guilty of eternal sin.  This comment takes this charge of the Scribes past a charge on Jesus Christ, but further, a charge against the Holy Spirit.  If they had only accused Jesus, then it would be as if accusing any other person and being wrong- they would go home that night and have dinner, go to bed, and wake up and go to work the next morning as if nothing happened.  However, since this charge went beyond the actions of Jesus Christ and went against the actions of the Holy Spirit who was acting through Jesus Christ, the Scribes and all those who accused Jesus are therefore guilty of eternal sin.  Now, instead of going home as if nothing happened that day, the Scribes will go home with their tails between their legs.

With the parabolyzing over, the crowd begins to stir again as Jesus’ family who came to collect him are finally recognized.  Jesus takes this chance to drive the divided kingdom image home one last time as he explains that they are not in fact his family, but rather his family are those who do God’s will.  The disbelief and inaccurate assumptions that Jesus had lost his mind acted to drive Jesus’ biological family away- the house was divided and it crumbled.  I can’t count the number of times that my sisters and I would and still yell out “You are not my sister anymore!” or “I’m never talking to you again!” when we had a fall out, so I can kinda see where Jesus is coming from here.  However, those who stood by Jesus’ side and continued to believe and do God’s will, even though they still had no idea who Jesus really was, are recognized as his family.  The house stood together and therefore survived the storm. 

Throughout all of our arguments over who ate the last of Dad’s cookies, who was going to clean the kitchen, who would go vacuum the basement, and all the way to more recent arguments that had a lot more punch to them now that we are much older and “experienced”- the three Buck girls stand strong.  There is something more there that these arguments can not overpower- love.  Just as Jesus was able to cast out demons because of God’s actions through him (and I can’t help but think a huge part of that was God’s love), these arguments that happened on a daily basis were overpowered by sisterly love.  We still talk to each other, and we are still very much sisters.

When we look at the world today, there is a lot that we divide over- the more miniscule things such as fashion and what makes a good movie, all the way to Religion and Politics.  There are more dividing lines throughout each personal life than any person can begin to count.  Even in places that should be united, like the Church, are divided over both small and large issues.  I am more aware of this than ever as I talk to my colleagues at seminary about the happenings in the different Presbyteries during the last year and even as I interviewed a variety of adults, about their relationship with the church for a paper that I had to write for one of my classes this Spring.  We continue to focus on the divisions rather than focusing on the unity.  This unity can be found in the fact that we are all children of God and following God’s call for each of us.  What we forget is that God’s call looks different for every person and has no limits.  Only when we begin to recognize the unity throughout our differences, can we become like the one who enters the strong mans house to rob him of his possessions that Jesus spoke of when addressing the Scribes.  Only then can we overcome any differences that make each person unique and come together as the children of God, a kingdom that cannot be divided, even by the strongest of differences.

So what? We are all different but are still brothers and sisters in Christ.  This is no new news for us.  But now all of us need to take it a step further in our daily lives- we need to live out unity in difference rather than just talk about it the way good Presbyterians do.  We may not always be right, but as long as we are standing together as the body of Christ we will always have God on our side and we will always be stronger than anyone who comes in our way, just as Jesus was stronger and able to cast out demons.  The number of times that the three of us girls have teamed up on something and actually lost is a lot smaller than when we were divided- and if I am honest for a second, the times we teamed up, the chances of us actually being right weren’t necessarily high.  However we had a common goal and the passion that was behind that was one that tore down all boundaries. 

We can’t achieve this unity just by saying “we are one body”- there are steps to it.  First, find the uniqueness in yourself, and embrace that.  Listen to God, and find out what he is calling you to do both long and short term.  Find the uniqueness in your neighbors and recognize that even though it is different, it comes from the same creator and they too are called for a variety of things.  Embrace these differences and calls and use them to come together and stand against all the trouble that comes your way.   When the church stands together, it thrives.  However, when it doesn’t embrace the differences among each individual and the love and grace of God, the Church will collapse. 

Maybe your neighbor makes less money than you- does that mean that they can’t spend an afternoon out in the yard with you?   

Maybe your neighbor is a different race- does that mean that the stories they could share over dinner are less important?

Maybe your neighbor is a different denomination, or even a different- would they not enjoy a fellowship dinner at a Presbyterian church? 

Every person has their place in the body, we just need to open our eyes and hearts to see that.

Growing up, one of our favorite games to play at camp was “Red Rover”.  The camp would divide into two teams and form a wall with their bodies and interlocking arms.  The teams would alternate yelling “Red rover, red rover, send Sally right over!” after which Sally would run as fast as she could and try to break through the wall of bodies.  If she didn’t succeed, she added to the wall and if she did break through, she would take someone from the wall back to her side.  We quickly learned that in order to stay strong the wall had to give with the pressure of the body coming at us, and arms had to be linked a certain way.  I don’t know how many times I saw the big kids run at the little ones thinking they could break through, and failed.  Why did they fail? Because each team embraced each person’s differences and used them to their advantage.  Short kids were next to tall kids, larger kids were next to smaller kids.  A strong wall never had two kids who were alike next to each other.

What would the Church as a whole look like if we all teamed up and used each person’s uniqueness and difference to our advantage? What if we stood together even when we might be a bit unsure, and put our faith that God is using each one of us in God’s own way rather than complaining because someone is different from us?  What if the demons mentioned throughout the Gospel of Mark formed their own line in a game of Red Rover, and when they ran at us they couldn’t break through and instead had to join us. 

Well, our parents learned that there is no hope for their sanity when we have a family meal and seem to just let us have our fun (and now that I say that, I am sure it will be much harder for us to win next time- but we still will).  Maybe those demons will learn the same thing, yet there will be many more than three girls teaming up against them- it will be the whole Church, the body and true family of Christ, the one who has been working against them for over two-thousand years.

Is it Church or middle school??

Recently in class, we were asked three big questions- What do you want to change about yourself, what do you want to change about the church and what do you want to change about the world? Hopefully I will grab a few minutes to address all of these, because they are things I have been thinking about a lot lately anyway. We will see. First, I want to address the church though…

On scholarship applications, I always talk about the way in which we recruit people and how we need to start with focusing on who we have for a while so that we have a strong foundation for newcomers to latch onto. Lately, I have been reflecting on what I have seen growing up in the church that might affect the lack of new people, or even the loss of people. I think about what my friends have told me about why they don’t go to church and the things that kept me from jumping in right away after we left our church when I was younger. Churches are middle school with God thrown in the middle.

I can’t help but think about how my life was in middle school, and what I saw when I taught in middle school. Every day I was trying to please certain people, trying to get into their group and be just like them. The number of cliques was unreal, and the church is the same way. I have been a member of three different churches and visited many, many others and the cliques are something I have found in all but one (where maybe I just want them to be the perfect church so I ignore it). These cliques do provide us with a close group to latch onto, but do we think about how they effect those not in them??

In talking to people about their relationship with the church, I always hear one of two things- either they are fully engrossed in a strong group which represents multiple committees or they are not involved at all (generally because they do not feel close to anyone). Thinking about my own involvement, I tend to shy away from joining anything until I feel comfortable with the people. That was even the case when I started at UPSem and it came time to join committees- which one did I join? The one chaired by the guy I met during the summer and had become friends with, not the ones chaired by people I had yet to meet. This all leads us to one key idea about the church: we go where we are comfortable.

 Now, think back to when you were in 9th grade and starting at your new high school (or college, or your new job…). Do you remember the feeling of looking around and seeing that everyone knew somebody- except for you? You had no idea where to go and were probably worried that you might not even be welcomed where you finally decided to go. Now, think about the way your church looks to a newcomer. Is it clear to them that there is somewhere just for them? Is there a group that they can connect to easily? Or think about that young adult that has been moving further and further back in the sanctuary and coming less and less. There is a big possibility that they really aren’t busy like you think, but rather that they feel un-welcomed because they don’t fit in with the cliques that have been formed.

I was talking to my friend about his involvement in church a while back, and found out that his biggest problem is the country club feel in the church and that is why he doesn’t go. “That is exactly why I didn’t buy one of those combo TV/VCRs in the 90s- some things are meant to be separate. What happens if one breaks? It becomes completely useless.” That has stuck with me every time I think about what needs to be changed first in the church. Yes, I think it is very important to bring the focus inward and help the congregation strengthen before putting on a big show for visitors, but I think the biggest part of that strengthening is to mix it up and break down these cliques that make church feel like a country club.  Think about it- if we keep the cliques going and drama starts in one of them (which will ALWAYS happen), what will happen to the church? It will become useless and broken, as any body is only as strong as it's weakest part.

In a Christian Education proposal that I wrote for a class last semester, I made a point to provide places for people to be with others that are like them so that they have a comfort zone. However, I made a bigger point to provide opportunities for the church to switch groups around a bit and even come together as a whole. How can we grow in faith if we never go outside of our comfort zone? Let me tell you- if I stayed in my comfort zone, I would be planning a middle school band concert right now and have a lot less excitement in my life. I would have never come to seminary, and I probably would have thought that an occasional “Bible” study (minus the Bible) was enough to get me through the week. However, I am asking the hard questions every day and fighting people who tell me that women shouldn’t be in ministry or that I am not cut out for it because I am terrified of preaching. No one here is like me- we all have very different backgrounds and do very different things in our down time. And I am all the better for it.

So, instead of thinking that people are too busy or didn’t like the sermon and that is why they aren’t coming back, let’s take a look at ourselves. Are we welcoming when we get past the meaningless and thoughtless words of welcome we use every Sunday? When people come in our doors, do they see closed off groups or open arms?

I have a friend who has no desire to go back to the church she grew up at because when she returned, there was no place for her among all of the cliques that had formed. Fifteen years of history in a church, more memories there than most people that sat in the Sanctuary had combined. She walked out after a painful service during which no one genuinely talked to her, and doesn’t plan to return. She still has family there. She still visits one or two of the members. However, the cliques that formed to keep “a certain kind of person” kept her out- and who knows how many other people.

 In God’s eyes, we are all his children. We all have special gifts that we bring to the table and we are all important. Just because a person doesn’t live in the same neighborhood or wear the same clothes, or even have the same interests, doesn’t mean that they should ever be shut out. It is time that we stop blaming others for our failings, and look at ourselves- are we even giving others a chance to succeed?

Let’s go to Church on Sunday- not back to middle school.

The empty cross

This time of year always gets me thinking, unfortunately it is happening later than normal due to my busy schedule and lack of desire to dig in too deep (one of the struggles when I am already doing crazy amounts of digging, I don’t want to/ forget to do it for myself in addition to the professors). One particular thought that always comes up is that of the cross- kinda predictable since we just celebrated Easter. Now, before I go any further, I will probably offend some people with these thoughts. I apologize for that and hope that you will keep reading and not count me out. I respect that everyone has their own view, and even if I don’t agree with it, I do appreciate yours. That being said, here goes.

I have always had the belief that the cross should always be your focal point in all you do. However, I have also always had a slight issue with these crosses that have Jesus hanging on them. When I was younger, it just creeped me out. In the last few years, I started thinking about it more and realized there was a lot more to it than being creeped out by a dead guy hanging around my neck. I really just can’t stand keeping Jesus on the cross.

First, the cross was not something created just for Jesus. Criminals were hung on crosses to die long before Jesus, and long after. This was a form of punishment that many, many people suffered. The streets leading to Rome were lined with crosses. There is nothing unique about it and the fact that Jesus was hung on and died on the cross does nothing but put him in the same category as these riminals. (Breathe… don’t freak out yet…)

The thing that makes the event of Jesus dying on the cross so remarkable is what happened AFTER he died. Was Jesus just buried and forgotten? Far from it! Jesus was placed in a tomb (already a big difference, but not one to get too terribly excited about yet) and remained there for three days. The remarkable thing about the whole event is what happened on that third day when the women went to anoint his body with oils. Was he still laying there dead when they got there??? I think everyone knows this part of the story and can confidently say “NO!” The women were greeted by a man in white/ angel (depends on which account you read) who told them that Jesus was no longer there! Um… what???? Yea… that’s right! Jesus was gone. He got up and left. Can a dead man do that? Today’s media will try to tell you otherwise (can you imagine what they would do with this? “And coming this Easter to a theater near you- “Zombie Jesus!”), but the answer is absolutely not. Jesus rose from the dead! There is no question that this is a divine act and one to get excited about. This is what we celebrate on Easter morning! This is why we pull out all the stops and have incredible music, fill the sanctuary with flowers, buy beautiful dresses, etc. We want to celebrate!

So, bringing the cross back in. All of these crosses that have Jesus still there, suffering, are a reminder of how he died. Sure, he did so semi-willingly (we can’t forget that he did in fact have a bit of hesitation that shows in his prayer in the garden before he was arrested) but I don’t see that as a reason to keep him there. When we keep Jesus on the cross, we prolong the suffering. We prolong the crucifixion. While this death was part of God’s plan when he sent Jesus, I do not think it was meant to be dragged out the way some people do. Why would anyone want to prolong such a horrendous action on our Lord? HOWEVER, when we take Christ off of the cross the suffering ends. When the cross is empty, we are reminded of the events that followed. That Christ did not remain dead, but rather rose from the dead and then ascended into heave. Up until this point, he had been “just another human being” (not at all, but yes). Christ rising from the dead and ascending into heaven is when people truly saw the divinity in him. This is what sets his crucifixion apart from all others.

If I had my way, we wouldn’t even wear the cross. We would wear the empty tomb, but I guess that isn’t as delicate and pretty. Or in some way depict Christ’s ascension. However, since we do use the cross as our reminder, let’s keep it empty! Let’s celebrate these events that followed his common death- celebrate the completely uncommon events, those that set him apart and make him divine. Because this past Sunday we didn’t sing the Hallelujah chorus because Christ died…

Keep your focus on the cross… and make sure it is empty!

Young Adults in the church...

I am 23 years old. I am student. I may or may not be single. I am a free youth director/ youth Sunday school teacher (see previous identities that make it clear that I would be perfect for the job).

That is what churches see when I walk through the door every Sunday. The only questionable part for the church is my relationship status, when changes in their eyes dependent on if I am with only one guy (who I am obviously in a relationship with and planning a wedding because it is only the two of us at church together… right), or if I am with two guys (obviously we are only friends) or alone (that poor girl…).

What don’t they see??

I am looking for a home away from home. I desperately want to find a group of young adults, similar to me, to hang out with away from my friends at school. I would love to stick around longer than one or two weeks and maybe even get involved in a Sunday School class (PLEASE not youth.. just because I am young doesn’t mean I want to work with youth. Been there, done that… I want adult time now), and if you are lucky/ unlucky (depending on how you think I sound) I might join the choir. I would love to come to a dinner WITH some food to offer rather than just coming empty handed. I want to be part of a bible study that doesn’t exegete every little thing they read. If you ask, I will even be liturgist every now and then. And oh yea… I am serious about this church thing, to the point that I am in seminary.

I have to admit- I was spoiled rotten when I was in college. I was part of an incredible campus ministry and that led me to an incredible church. Granted, I only went so that I could hear my campus minister preach one Sunday but they quickly found a place for me- The next week, I was down in the high school room teaching Sunday school (which I loved at the time because I had only been doing youth work for a year or two). Even though I came to worship alone most of the time, the members of the congregation were eager to talk to me and learn more about me. As the young adult group began to grow, I got sucked in and loved every second of it. That is how I met some of my favorite people and the guy that really helped me through some hard times and decisions about seminary. So, after that experience that gave me a home away from home, I have been brainwashed and think that I can find that here in Richmond.

Don’t get me wrong- I know there has to be a church like that somewhere up here, but I haven’t found it yet. What have I found?

Churches with websites that are hard to navigate or not up-to-date. These websites also include info about every age group EXCEPT young adults. (For a good example of a site that includes young adults, check these out- http://starmountpres.org/young-adult/ and http://www.stpauls.net/?page_id=61 ). Simple, but easy to find and it shows that if you go, there might be someone that you can relate to that isn’t celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.

My relationship status really does matter to them. I wasn’t terribly shocked in Ghana when one of the first questions they asked was “are you married?” because quite frankly, as a single girl who doesn’t mind going to church alone, I encounter that every Sunday. Churches want young people who are attached. Why? Because it is free labor. That is something I will battle in ministry as well as long as I am not married. I don’t know how many times this has been proven true- I go to church alone and get ignored (unless the minister says, in the pulpit, “Please make sure to welcome our guests”). In fact, just a few weeks ago I visited a church alone and because there was no one else sitting there yet, a lady behind me threw her coat on my pew. 10 minutes before the service started. What if I had friends coming?? Now, if I go to church with a group or two guys they talk to us, but aren’t nearly as excited as when I go with just one guy. We can sit a mile apart, use our own hymnals, and not even talk a whole lot (to the outside world this means we aren’t together) but the church members are like vultures because obviously here is a young couple that they can get to do all sorts of stuff so the church members don’t have to.

Everyone seems to think that I am just dying to work with their wonderful kids. Now, I am sure they are wonderful because everyone’s kids are perfect angels… especially at church (do you sense the sarcasm there???). However, I have done my time for now. I am not saying that I won’t work with kids again because I know I will and I look forward to it, however I have counseled camps, directed camps, and taught Sunday school since I was in high school. I have only been “retired” for a year… I still need time to recover! I would love to help on occasion, but let me first decide if I want to stick around and then ONLY ON OCCASION.

The fact that I am in seminary draws a crowd. I am so tired of hearing “Oh, Johnny! You have to meet Jordan- she is in seminary!” Whoopdeedoo! Yes. I am in seminary. However, this doesn’t make me any different from any other visitor. It is not an honor that I picked your church today (which I have heard). Please do not call all of your friends over to oo and ah over me. I would rather be ignored if you are going to take it this far. And yes, I have recently stopped mentioning it at all when they ask what I do. I am simply in grad school.

Finding a good church is hard. Like I said, I got very lucky when I was in college. However I think I would rather go out and try to find a great guy at a bar (which if you know me, you know that I am opposed to this) than deal with some of the stuff I have seen in the last 8 months. I still go to church every Sunday and thoroughly enjoy the services for the most part. However, just like when you are dating, the relationship goes beyond dinner and a movie. What happens between? If you don’t talk, or if you feel like you are being stalked you don’t want to stick around- get to know me but please take a hint if I don’t come back or don’t ask questions about you.

Yes, it has been frustrating trying to find a church here. However, I have learned a whole lot. My own experience combined with those of my friends and others that I have talked to have definitely given me some insight to what I would like to make sure happens when I get to a church:

An up-to-date website that welcomes people of all ages.
Welcoming to everyone (visitors should be welcomed like members… don’t draw attention to them but don’t ignore them).
Don’t assume that people are perfect for a job just because of their age.
Make opportunities available for everyone (this doesn’t mean church wide studies or dinners- have a few specific things available for the different groups! We have classes for older generations, men, women, children… include college, young adult, young families…).
Be excited for the visitors and be interested, but don’t elevate any one over the other.

I could keep going, but I need to start working on papers.

This isn’t a post that says “I hate church” because obviously that isn’t how I feel. However, it is frustrating when churches say they welcome all but don’t. I know that it can be hard, especially when people don’t stick around. But maybe they don’t stick around because they don’t feel welcome! Start small- go to lunch after church or host a cook-out. Make it clear who you are reaching out to. Find out what they want from the church and what they want to do for the church. Studies show that those of us in grad school or working will add something else to the schedule if it appeals.

Just something to think about… because even if you aren’t standing in the pulpit on Sunday, you are still a minister and make a huge impression on visitors. Make it a good one so that “maybe I’ll see you next week” as they rush out the door becomes an “absolutely… I can’t wait!” as they stand around and keep talking.

"Dear God, Thankyou."

“Thank you” and “I love you”

All through high school my band director drilled those two phrases into our heads, telling us they are the two and three most important words in the English language. Every day we were reminded to thank our parents and tell them we love them, thank our fruit customers, thank our teachers, etc. And as much as I really wanted argue with him (he was one of those teachers you loved and hated all at once), I knew this was one point where he was 100% correct (I would realize that about everything else he said once I started teaching).

I’ve been thinking about this point a lot lately. Trying to figure out why I insist on telling my friends I love them (this really gets to the boys who refuse to show emotion lol), making sure I have sent out any thank you notes that need to be done… What can I say? That old man got to me and between he and my parents there was no hope :).

Last night before I went to sleep, I started to pray like I always do. However I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what to say. The last week has completely overwhelmed me in good and some bad ways, but when it all boils down to it everything in my life is finally going right all at once. So my prayer went like this- “Dear God, Thank you. I love you.” Nothing elaborate. Some people might even say it is a cop out. However, I think it got the point across.

Like JR says, these are the two and three most important words in the English language. For that reason, I think it is fitting that they be used when you don’t know what else to say. Prayer doesn’t have to be elaborate. God knows what is on your heart. Prayer just has to be there and be honest. And hey, something this short leaves plenty of time to just sit and listen :).

Final Ghana Reflection

Below, you will find my final reflection about Ghana. I meant to post this a while back but life got crazy! If you haven't already and have some time you want to waste... check out my Ghana pics at wwww.photobucket.com/ghana2012

The Ghana travel seminar was an incredible experience for me from the very start. While the trip itself was incredible, I am convinced that it would not have been nearly the same without the readings and discussions that took place prior to our departure. While I found all of the readings informative and helpful in understanding the culture I was about to enter, the most interesting to me where those relating directly to religion (most specifically Christianity) rather than politics, imports/ exports, geography, etc. as my main interest in the seminar itself was learning more about Christian practices around the world today. In that light, I found it very interesting that Ghanaian theologian John S. Pobee is quoted as saying “in Ghana, to be is to be religious” as 93.8% of the population in 2000 claimed some form of religious adherence (Christian, Muslim, or Traditional).

The first thing that stood out to me in our readings was the influence of Western culture on Ghanaian religious practices. In my music studies, western influence was always a key point of discussion so it only made since that it would be present (if not more heavily) in regards to religious practices. With the arrival of Europeans and Portuguese came many new political practices, products, and most importantly in my mind, Christian practices. Paul Gifford even writes that “Ghana’s ethos is recognizably Christian” .

Catholicism, according to “The History of Ghana” was the most widely spread religious practice when the Portuguese arrived in Elmina, baptizing more than 1300. After the massacre of the Augustinian friars in the late 16th century, these Christian practices were confined to forts and castles where missionaries resided, commonly with slaves. We saw evidence of this during our visit to the Dutch run Elmina Slave Castle, where the church sat directly above the cells where slaves were held captive and scriptures were engraved on plaques in the Governor’s dining hall. One thing that I surprisingly did not see much of however was the Catholic Church, something I am still curious about.

Gocking further discusses the spread of education through Christian missionaries who had realized “that there was a close correlation between their success in converting Africans to Christianity and providing Western education” . Education was key to maneuvering the trade economy, which in turn was key to survival and led those that were working in the trade business back to Christianity. Driving through Ghana and noticing the names of schools, it is impossible to deny that there is any connection between the church and education today. According to Rev. Azormu, the General Manager of the EP Church Schools, formal education is a primary focus of the church since the arrival of missionaries in Peki in 1847. The EP Church has 761 schools in Ghana and a handful of private schools started by congregations and run by the local ministers. Even with the vast presence of the Christian church in formal education, both the PCG and EPC admit the difficulty in keeping their hand in the official workings of schools as the government continues to push them further out of the picture. The complications that come from the growing lack of oversight by the church are combated by the overwhelming presence of teacher-pastors who not only teach in the schools but oversee up to four congregations at the same time.

Another key aspect of Christianity, and more specifically Presbyterianism, in Ghana is the influence of the Pentecostal church. I found it very interesting that a religion that I previously thought to be a more Western religion even though its roots are in the Middle East, is described as being renewed as a non-Western religion in Ghana . The most prominent aspect of this influence (in my mind) is the incorporation of the “deliverance” theology in the Presbyterian Church, a very foreign concept to me. Paul Gifford writes that this incorporation is probably due to the faith gospel not achieving all it promised because it was being blocked by demonic influence. Prior to our experience in both the PCG and EPC deliverance services, I was very uncomfortable with this idea and did not think that there was any way this was ok. I saw these “demonic influences” as a cop-out for owning up to your own short comings and correcting them yourself. It is because of my ideas that I found our discussion with Aboa Ofei and our two experiences with deliverance services very profound. In my journal I write, “The main thing that I am learning is basically what I learned in Mexico and Scotland- we all worship in very different ways and no one way is right or wrong as long as our focus is right. I may find some things (ex. Deliverance) unnerving, but I appreciate their understanding and desire for connection with their culture when the rest has been so heavily westernized.” This appreciation stems from the discussion with Aboa Ofei when he immediately established the difference between Presbyterian-Pentecostals and Pentecostals/ Charismatic’s as being “We pray with them, not for them”. He further demolished my preconceived views of deliverance being the same as exorcism by explaining that deliverance can be from oppression, regression, etc and can even be called εκβαλλω (casting out). Further, exorcism rids the body of a demon, but deliverance uses the Holy Spirit. One thing that I found very interesting and would love to look further into one day was the very different response to deliverance in the PCG (falling, shaking, screaming, rolling, etc.) compared to the EPC (the occasional weakness causing them to need to sit).

One final aspect of Ghanaian Christianity that I was very interested in was the role of the Woman in the church. As a female seminarian who has already had a few heated discussions as to whether a woman belongs in the pulpit or not and with this trip being on the heels of the Mexican Presbyterian Church cutting ties with PC(USA), an action brought on mostly by 10-A but partially fueled by other disagreements such as ordination of women, I was very curious as to how the Ghanaian churches deal with the issue. I was left hanging after our readings as some alluded to women having a voice and being supported while others went the other direction and addressed the fact that all is really not well with women in the church . In our discussion with church leaders in both the PCG and EPC, I was comforted to learn that not only are women ordained, but the President of the PCG even acknowledged that the women of the church are the most active and dedicated members. PCG requires that at least 1/3 of sessions and the General Assembly be women and they are even able to say that one of their female ministers is a key influence on the decision for Malawi to ordain females.

In addition to the knowledge I gained from these readings prior to the trip, I also had many expectations based on my western life and experiences. I expected worship services to be much longer than they were, to see people dancing all over while listening to traditional African drumming, and to hear the members of the congregation yelling out during the service while the preacher pounded on the Bible. My experience at the Presbyterian Church of Ghana in Atonsu and Trinity Church was definitely a learning experience in preconceived ideas. While one service I attended (PCG in Atonsu) was fairly long compared to our services (2 ½ hours), the way it was broken up with Bible study before the service made it very similar to how we do Sunday School followed by church. Dancing was limited to a few occasions of praise music which was only accompanied by traditional drumming once. The biggest surprise for me though was the silence found in the congregation during the sermon, only calling out “Amen” when prompted by the minister who was calmly preaching. The experience at Trinity was very similar with the exception of it being a much shorter service because it was the first service of the day.

Since our return from Ghana, I have had a lot of time to reflect on our experiences. I think the largest portion of my reflection came when I went to church for the first time back in the States. Even though this service was joyful, the people were friendly, and coincidentally there was African drumming, this service lacked something for me. I am still not sure of what that “something” specifically is, but I think it goes back to the fact that our “joyful” is because we are happy and like the sermon and music, and disappears the minute we step out of the sanctuary. The “joyful” in Ghana is full of excitement, love, and the Spirit. Prior to our trip to Ghana I would have laughed at myself for commenting on the presence of the Spirit because I thought we just experienced it in a calmer way. While that is still the case, there is something to be said about being so moved by a worship service that it leaves you smiling, dancing, singing, and praising beyond the worship service. I think about Mama Lucy from Kumasi and the love that radiated from her, even in her mourning the loss of her brother. I don’t know that I can think of anyone here at home who radiates God’s love and action in their life in such a prevalent way that truly makes you want to ask what has happened that they are so happy. Since meeting Lucy, as well as the many other people that hosted us, I have made it my goal to radiate that same love and action in such a way that not only makes someone wonder, but makes them feel the same love. I more readily recognize that there is much more to worship than a few songs, prayers, and a sermon and just like the Ghanaians, I am trying to make sure that my whole life is a worship service rather than just a few hours on Sunday and Wednesday.

This travel seminar had a huge impact on my life, personally and professionally. Thanks to our many hours on the bus, I was able to sort out a few things going on back home and get my mind in the right place to handle them once I got back home. My life is more balanced and focused now and I seem to have a better grasp on many different things in my personal life. In regards to my professional/ ministerial development, I am even surer that I am on the right path for me (made most prevalent to me during my experience of leading devotion in Ho). While I know that I want to be in a smaller church, I am still trying to discern this pull to be involved on an international level. I am even more curious about Christian practices around the world, and while theoretically I could travel around the world studying for the rest of my life, I don’t see that actually happening. That being said, I am now trying to discern just where international Christian studies can fit into my ministry in the future.

What I love most about travel seminars is that while the more focused learning happens just before and during the trip, the learning never stops. I find myself looking back to my experiences to add to class discussions and asking our Ghanaian students more questions. As far as I am concerned, this seminar will never actually end as it will always play some role in my life. At this point, I look forward to seeing just how that happens and where I go from here!

Dreaming amidst reality...

I love and hate Pinterest. It is such an amazing way to procrastinate, but that is also the biggest problem with it. HOWEVER, a few good things have come from it- I have great decorating ideas for when I move into Melrose next year, I have enough recipes to cook something different everyday for a few months, and my obsession for quotes is being met quite nicely. Two quotes in particular have stood out to me and are now taped on my computer where I will see them for about 80% of my day.

“You are far too smart to be the only one standing in your way.”

“What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be.”

This last month has probably been the most difficult one since I got here last July. The adjustment coming back from Ghana was not terribly hard at first- I just really wanted fish sticks and a hot shower- but as I started dealing with the normal stress and struggles of life here at home, I missed Ghana terribly. Drama with friends, a completely overloaded schedule, and students quitting lessons among other things completely bogged me down.

Coming home from Ghana, I definitely had a beautiful picture of how life would be now that I was a changed woman. Friendships would be stronger after realizing how much we missed each other for those two weeks, I would be so well adjusted to school that class would be a breeze, I would hold onto the “no stress” attitude I had in Ghana, and basically life would be perfect. I blame the anti-malaria meds for these crazy hallucinations! Now, I’m not saying it is bad to dream, because anyone who has ever met me knows that I definitely live in my own dream world, but we can’t go running too far with things that we forget the reality.

Now, that first quote comes into play- “You are far too smart to be the only one standing in your way”. Yep, I think this attitude that comes with the second quote kinda puts me in that “standing in your own way” place. I do that a lot. I think my paper isn’t good enough or my thought isn’t good enough so I keep quiet, I figure I haven’t “earned my place” so I don’t try to play a solo, I’m not as pretty as the girl at the end of the bar so I don’t talk to the guy… we all do it, and my last month has been filled with it.

The challenge that we have to meet is finding the middle ground between the two. DREAM!! It is good for you! Without dreams, we have nothing to strive for and as Carrie Underwood sings, “Thank God even crazy dreams come true”. If I didn’t live in dream world, I wouldn’t be here right now, I wouldn’t have gone to Ghana, I wouldn’t have blown my two trumpet recitals out of the water… our dreams give us the energy and passion needed to push through the trials that life hands us. I always tell my students to stop and close their eyes before they play a single note, even on scales. I want them to think about what the world’s greatest trumpet sounds like (at this point I have also had them listen to the best of the best) and instead of picturing someone else playing that trumpet, they are playing it. Once they have that sound and picture in their head, then they can take that deep breath and play. Sure, it doesn’t always come out sounding great but it does come out sounding a bit better than the last time and continually gets better. We need to have enough dream power to imagine that we are the best of the best, not the guy across the classroom or the girl at the end of the bar or the principle soloist.

However, we need to keep control of our dreams just enough that we know the reality of things. When my students play the world’s worst scale (and yes… I am pretty sure some of them really have at times), I make them stop and first tell me what was great about it, but then we move on and talk about what wasn’t so great and how to fix it. In dancing, this is called spotting. You can spin in circles all day long, but only if you keep your eye on one single part of reality, otherwise it all becomes a blur and you get dizzy and fall down. This control needs to be realistic, though.

Last night, I went over to Watts Chapel to sight-read a piece of music that I have wanted to play since the moment I set foot in the UNCG School of Music. While I was there, I was in constant competition with every other trumpet player, including the grad students (like I said, let your dreams guide you!). However, for every thing I did right, they did two things right in my mind. I kept my confidence up though and when I was away from the building, I really tried to imagine that I was as good, if not better, than they were. Quite honestly, I don’t know that I was too far behind but I was definitely back there. Well, as time went on and the professors kept throwing more curve balls my way, I let them win. I quit practicing like I should, and quite frankly, I lost my love for music. Everything quickly became “do enough to get by” because I was convinced that there was no way I would win the professors over or finally surpass the grad students. My senior recital wasn’t bad by any means, but it wasn’t what I could have done by any means. However, I never even started the 3rd movement of one piece because too many people had already played it and I “knew” that it wouldn’t be nearly as good as theirs. I only did three pieces, where most people would do 4-5, and quite frankly, two of the three were not huge challenges.

But, back to the point. Last night, I finally pulled out the Hummel Concerto and let loose. It has been about two years since my senior recital and last lesson, I finally feel like I am free and allowed to play what I want- and I did. It wasn’t great, but it was sight reading. Listening to the recording that I made, it isn’t at all what I heard when I played it, but that is part of the dream. In my head, I was Maurice Andre playing in a packed concert hall with an orchestra behind me. In the video, I am playing from a pulpit instead of a music stand so I can’t really see the music, I am in a very empty chapel, and there isn’t even piano accompaniment. I look back on the video and hear things that I definitely need to work on, and things that I probably would have glossed over in my final year or two at UNCG. However, if I am ever going to be in a packed concert hall like Maurice Andre, I can’t stand in my own way. I have to be over there every single day, taking the piece measure by measure the way I have my students do it in lessons. Sure, I might never make it to the packed concert hall- that isn’t my focus anymore (now it is the packed sanctuary!), but that doesn’t mean that I can’t close my eyes and imagine myself there every time I pick up that horn.

I think that is why I have started playing so much lately. When I pick up my horn, I am transported to that stage. While I am playing, I forget about the drama, I forget about the papers, I forget about the stress. The most incredible feeling is when I bring that horn down after playing the final part of the Hindemith Sonata, “All Men Must Die”. I have been playing half notes and quarter notes at 40 beats per minute, at all different dynamics, and any quiver in the note ruins the very solemn mood. When the horn comes down after the last C, the breath that I take in is big and deep and refreshing. For that moment, that breath is the only thing that matters and I feel incredible. Trumpet is my escape from reality again.

SO… find your escape, find the place where your dreams come alive. However, hold onto reality just enough that you don’t get completely lost but also, don’t let reality bring you back so much that you let your dreams go. No, life isn’t perfect by any means, but my dream world is more alive than ever lately.