Flashback

Tonight was like a flashback for me, and I loved it. I haven missed the excitement of pulling out my concert blacks, picking out just the right jewelry (nothing flashy, but it has to make the black look good... after all this is the rare occasion that the guys get to see me like this and I only get a small amount of enjoyment out of it), and just really glitzing it all up. The stress of going through music before you leave, once you get in the car, and then one more time before you leave the car and head to the hall, all just to make sure you didn’t lose something along the way. Sitting on stage and warming up while continually glancing out in the audience to see who is there, in general, but especially for you. Oh yea… and actually playing the concert! It’s been a year and half since I did that and I was sure that the last time I did, was really the last time. I am so glad it wasn’t.

Playing with RBC has been such a great thing for me since it is really the only playing I do now. It isn’t quite the level that I am used to after playing with the UNCG Wind Ensemble, but for what I am doing now, I’ll take it. Plus, very few things are as much fun as hanging out with a bunch of band directors and hearing their stories… the things that I used to dream about and kinda miss, but am glad I have left behind.

Even better is that my friends here seem to appreciate it and some even came out for the concert tonight. In undergrad, you expected your friends to be there. It was required more or less. Here, it isn’t required. Very few people seem to really pay attention to things like that. Not to mention this has been an insane week for all of us with exams and exegesis. But, nevertheless, a handful of them still came out into downtown Richmond where there is no parking, and sat through the entire thing for me. It feels really good knowing that they don’t mind taking a few hours out of their day to go support me. And really, that goes for all of us in all situations.

With all of the excitement though, I couldn’t help but note that as much as I loved being up there again, it wasn’t me anymore. That isn’t my life. I don’t sit in the hall recording for hours on end, very few rehearsals, even less practicing. Now, it is sitting in my room with commentaries, dictionaries, translations, and syllabi scattered all around me as I work on quizzes and exegetical papers. It’s no longer V6 chords, it’s Greek participles. I’m not writing about William Byrd’s anthems, I am writing about the trinitarian controversy. And it couldn’t be more right.

Tonight was only the third time in all of my playing history that my parents were not at my concert. When you total them up to more than 100, that says something. It hurt a little, but seeing my friends out there and having them serve as a reminder of my new life meant so much. I’m looking forward to the next time I can pull out the concert blacks and simple but elegant jewelry, making sure it matches the trumpet, so that I can go and not so elegantly blare on the low notes. But for now, I am going to enjoy and focus on the exegesis and trinity…