What if?

What if? It’s a question that we all ask ourselves every day, and one that has kept me awake at night for the last few days. What if I said something sooner? What if they chose differently? What if it happened this way?

Have you ever noticed how much of our lives, we live in the past? Everything goes back to what could have happened. I have recently reconnected with some really good friends of mine and all I can think about is “what if things happened differently?”. Well, you want to know the answer? I wouldn’t be where I am today. The conversations I have had with these people wouldn’t have the same impact as they have had, in fact they probably wouldn’t be happening. Maybe I never would have stopped to re-evaluate my life 2 years ago and make the decision to print out that application. Maybe I would be teaching middle school band, or maybe I would be starting grad school for trumpet in Florida or Indiana. Maybe I would be exactly where I am today, laying in bed in Richmond Hall at Union Presbyterian Seminary.

That’s the thing about these “what ifs”… we don’t know how it would have been. We can imagine life another way all day long, but really have you ever been happy with what you imagined? I think we miss the important key all too often, and that is that God gave us these moments- hard, easy, fun, and sad- because they are a key part in shaping who we are. It doesn’t matter what would have happened if they didn’t leave, or if you were able to help them the way you wanted, or if you said something sooner. What matters is that whatever happened, led you to where you are today, and today is a gift from God.

I am starting a part of life where there are lots of questions. I am quickly learning that as much as I loved and/ or hated things in my past, I need to just thank God for them and move on. It does you no good to keep wondering how life could have been, but it does a world of good to make life what you want right now. Rather than asking the “what ifs”, ask “what now” and go out and enjoy life! There will always be 1,000 different ways for something to happen, but the most important way is the way it does happen and that’s all that matters. We can change the outcome today, but only if we put our eyes on the present and future rather than the past.

What if my life were different up til now? I may not be in Richmond, making friends with some awesome people (go figure mostly guys again… some things never change!), and getting ready to start the most incredible journey of my life. And you know what? That’s just not ok with me.

Thank God for the past, hope for the future, and opportunity of today!