On my way into work today I saw a few new billboards that disturbed me, but didn't at the same time. I don't know if anyone else has seen them but these billboards show a picture of a person with a quote about leaving religion behind and being free-thinkers and what not and they are sponsored by the Freedom From Religion Foundation.
I will be the first person to recognize our right and the importance of free speech, especially when it comes to freedom of religion. After all, I use this blog as a way to speak my mind on religion and my faith. I am also one that believes that we should not judge others based on their religion and that the most important part to me is that you have SOMETHING that you believe in, although I do lean strongly towards Christianity. I know that a lot of people would think that I am a terrible Christian for not wanting everyone to be Christian, but Jesus wasn't even Christian... for me it is just important that each person has a strong value system that they can truly believe in and base their life on.
So why do these billboards bother me so much? I mean, I don't get bothered when I see the billboards with messages from God or for Christian radio. The commercials for churches don't bother me (too much lol). So why do billboards about freedom from religion bother me?? I think a lot of it goes back to something I read in a book I got for high school graduation. "Wishful Thinking: A Seeker's ABC" by Frederick Buechner really puts it all into perspective for me when he explains that Atheists are really just full of it because they say they don't believe in a higher power, yet they believe in some way.
"To say there is no God means among other things that there are no Absolute Standards" says Buechner. He goes on to use this example- "An atheist may believe with all his heart that murder is wrong, but if he runs into somebody else who believes with all his heart that murder isn't wrong as long as you can get away with it, there is no Absolute Standard by which it can be shown that one view is better than the other, just as there is no Absolute Standard by which it can be shown that vanilla is better than chocolate." Continuing with Absolute Standards, "What is American is Right and what is un-American is Wrong. What is ethical is Right and what is unethical is Wrong. What works is Right and what doesn't work is Wrong. These all bring God back under different names: Nationalism, Ethics, Pragmatism." He goes on to use an example of finding a beaten child on the front cover a tabloid. "To be consistent with his creed, an atheist can say no more than that to beat a child to death is wrong with a small w...The atheist holds the tabloid in his hand and asks the question, Why should such things happen? Atheism can reply only, Why shouldn't such things happen? But he keeps on asking." And finally, my favorite quote from Buechner- "A true atheist does no dance on the grave of God. The laughter of faith in God is like Abraham's laughter when God says his ninety-year-old wife is in a family way..."
Atheist means to not believe in a deity, but can someone really look at something and say it just appeared and not be able to say from where? It doesn't matter where you believe it came from, the point is just that you believe. In my mind, if you believe in something than that is a form of religion. In fact, religion is defined in multiple ways all centering around "a particular set of beliefs".
So why do these billboards bother me? It isn't because people are speaking out against Christianity. That happens everyday and I really don't let it bother me but so much because I know what I believe and that is what matters to me. They bother me because they are speaking out against something that they are in fact celebrating. By placing "Atheist", "Humanist", and "Nontheist" after their name, they are claiming a religion- exactly what they are speaking out against.
At this point, I am curious what your thoughts are. Does it bother you to find these billboards popping up? Do you like the idea? Am I completely insane for having these mixed feelings about them?
Buechner, Frederick. "Wishful Thinking, A Seeker's ABC" 1993. pg. 2-5.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Even the most ordinary can be extraordinary
First, watch this video.
Did you watch it??? Ok. Good.
Kinda tough, huh? Probably because we are all guilty in some way, of bullying. I know I do it every day. Sometimes I don't say it out loud, but I do think some really bad stuff when I see some people out there. I can't help it though! No excuse? I know. Just keep that in mind next time you say or think something that you know you shouldn't.
NOW... pick up your Bible and go read 1 Samuel 16: 1-13. Ok, ok... here ya go:
1 The LORD said to Samuel, “How long will you mourn for Saul, since I have rejected him as king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and be on your way; I am sending you to Jesse of Bethlehem. I have chosen one of his sons to be king.”
2 But Samuel said, “How can I go? If Saul hears about it, he will kill me.”
The LORD said, “Take a heifer with you and say, ‘I have come to sacrifice to the LORD.’ 3 Invite Jesse to the sacrifice, and I will show you what to do. You are to anoint for me the one I indicate.”
4 Samuel did what the LORD said. When he arrived at Bethlehem, the elders of the town trembled when they met him. They asked, “Do you come in peace?”
5 Samuel replied, “Yes, in peace; I have come to sacrifice to the LORD. Consecrate yourselves and come to the sacrifice with me.” Then he consecrated Jesse and his sons and invited them to the sacrifice.
6 When they arrived, Samuel saw Eliab and thought, “Surely the LORD’s anointed stands here before the LORD.”
7 But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
8 Then Jesse called Abinadab and had him pass in front of Samuel. But Samuel said, “The LORD has not chosen this one either.” 9 Jesse then had Shammah pass by, but Samuel said, “Nor has the LORD chosen this one.” 10 Jesse had seven of his sons pass before Samuel, but Samuel said to him, “The LORD has not chosen these.” 11 So he asked Jesse, “Are these all the sons you have?”
“There is still the youngest,” Jesse answered. “He is tending the sheep."
Samuel said, “Send for him; we will not sit down until he arrives.”
12 So he sent for him and had him brought in. He was glowing with health and had a fine appearance and handsome features.
Then the LORD said, “Rise and anoint him; this is the one.”
13 So Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the presence of his brothers, and from that day on the Spirit of the LORD came powerfully upon David. Samuel then went to Ramah.
Got it?? Ok good... now watch this video. I know, its kinda long but it's Disney so who really cares??
Now... see any similarities between the scripture and the video?
No?
Re-read the scripture, but instead of Jesse (the father) use the evil step-mother. Instead of Samuel, think of that crazy guy with the eyeglass. Instead of the brothers, think of the stepsisters. Finally, instead of David, think of Cinderella, the girl who has been shunned and forgotten because of her "unimportance". NOW do you see it?
Now, think back to the first video and the young lady who was shunned as an outcast because of her sexuality, appearance, and anything and everything else. Kinda similar, huh?
But here is the catch- we can judge outward appearance all we want, and we do. We have all had it happen to us, and we all do it to others. But when is the last time you heard of God saying "nope, that girl is too fat... I can't love her" or "that boy can't play basketball at all... no way is he coming into my courts" or an even more common "NOPE... they don't look like me or act like me and I just don't understand them. They won't be showing their face around here if I have any say in it, and by the way, I am God so I do have a say". NEVER. Why? Because God has made us all in his image and focuses only on our hearts, not on our hair or athletic ability or language or skin color or sexuality or religion or weight or what jeans we are wearing... get it yet?
So here is the final key: God made us in his image, but that doesn't do much good if we don't act in his way. When we make judgments on people before we know them, not only do we miss a whole lot, but we are doing serious damage. Think back to the girl in the video. Now, it may not always be that extreme, but you never know.
My example???
During the spring semester of my Junior year I was in a class that taught us how to teach (figure that one out). There was this guy sitting across from me that seemed nice, but he definitely didn't act like everyone else I hung out with so he never really caught my attention to the point that I went out of my way to hang out with him. Even worse, I never realized he had been in at least one class with me every semester up until that point! Another reason why I didn't take a second glance? Easy- race. He was black, I was a flirtatious white girl, and that just didn't happen. Wanna see something kinda funny? Look at my facebook profile picture- that handsome guy that has me smiling from ear to ear? Guess who that is. I finally took the time to get to know him one afternoon when a bunch of us went to dinner together and found out that he was a pretty ok guy... ok enough that I have now been dating him for almost a year. I could have missed out on what has been the best year of my life, all because I judged a book by it's cover rather than actually reading it like God would do.
So just think next time you start to make a judgment or make a negative comment. You might be talking to a girl like the one in the video... maybe you have come across the very unimpressive little kid that God has called on to be king... maybe you are in a situation like me and are about to miss out on a pretty incredible relationship... maybe you will get lucky and nothing will happen (HA! not likely).
So lets actually live up to the image we were made in, and act the way that God would- judge by the heart, not the outward appearance because even the most ordinary can be extraordinary.
Did you watch it??? Ok. Good.
Kinda tough, huh? Probably because we are all guilty in some way, of bullying. I know I do it every day. Sometimes I don't say it out loud, but I do think some really bad stuff when I see some people out there. I can't help it though! No excuse? I know. Just keep that in mind next time you say or think something that you know you shouldn't.
NOW... pick up your Bible and go read 1 Samuel 16: 1-13. Ok, ok... here ya go:
1 The LORD said to Samuel, “How long will you mourn for Saul, since I have rejected him as king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and be on your way; I am sending you to Jesse of Bethlehem. I have chosen one of his sons to be king.”
2 But Samuel said, “How can I go? If Saul hears about it, he will kill me.”
The LORD said, “Take a heifer with you and say, ‘I have come to sacrifice to the LORD.’ 3 Invite Jesse to the sacrifice, and I will show you what to do. You are to anoint for me the one I indicate.”
4 Samuel did what the LORD said. When he arrived at Bethlehem, the elders of the town trembled when they met him. They asked, “Do you come in peace?”
5 Samuel replied, “Yes, in peace; I have come to sacrifice to the LORD. Consecrate yourselves and come to the sacrifice with me.” Then he consecrated Jesse and his sons and invited them to the sacrifice.
6 When they arrived, Samuel saw Eliab and thought, “Surely the LORD’s anointed stands here before the LORD.”
7 But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
8 Then Jesse called Abinadab and had him pass in front of Samuel. But Samuel said, “The LORD has not chosen this one either.” 9 Jesse then had Shammah pass by, but Samuel said, “Nor has the LORD chosen this one.” 10 Jesse had seven of his sons pass before Samuel, but Samuel said to him, “The LORD has not chosen these.” 11 So he asked Jesse, “Are these all the sons you have?”
“There is still the youngest,” Jesse answered. “He is tending the sheep."
Samuel said, “Send for him; we will not sit down until he arrives.”
12 So he sent for him and had him brought in. He was glowing with health and had a fine appearance and handsome features.
Then the LORD said, “Rise and anoint him; this is the one.”
13 So Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the presence of his brothers, and from that day on the Spirit of the LORD came powerfully upon David. Samuel then went to Ramah.
Got it?? Ok good... now watch this video. I know, its kinda long but it's Disney so who really cares??
Now... see any similarities between the scripture and the video?
No?
Re-read the scripture, but instead of Jesse (the father) use the evil step-mother. Instead of Samuel, think of that crazy guy with the eyeglass. Instead of the brothers, think of the stepsisters. Finally, instead of David, think of Cinderella, the girl who has been shunned and forgotten because of her "unimportance". NOW do you see it?
Now, think back to the first video and the young lady who was shunned as an outcast because of her sexuality, appearance, and anything and everything else. Kinda similar, huh?
But here is the catch- we can judge outward appearance all we want, and we do. We have all had it happen to us, and we all do it to others. But when is the last time you heard of God saying "nope, that girl is too fat... I can't love her" or "that boy can't play basketball at all... no way is he coming into my courts" or an even more common "NOPE... they don't look like me or act like me and I just don't understand them. They won't be showing their face around here if I have any say in it, and by the way, I am God so I do have a say". NEVER. Why? Because God has made us all in his image and focuses only on our hearts, not on our hair or athletic ability or language or skin color or sexuality or religion or weight or what jeans we are wearing... get it yet?
So here is the final key: God made us in his image, but that doesn't do much good if we don't act in his way. When we make judgments on people before we know them, not only do we miss a whole lot, but we are doing serious damage. Think back to the girl in the video. Now, it may not always be that extreme, but you never know.
My example???
During the spring semester of my Junior year I was in a class that taught us how to teach (figure that one out). There was this guy sitting across from me that seemed nice, but he definitely didn't act like everyone else I hung out with so he never really caught my attention to the point that I went out of my way to hang out with him. Even worse, I never realized he had been in at least one class with me every semester up until that point! Another reason why I didn't take a second glance? Easy- race. He was black, I was a flirtatious white girl, and that just didn't happen. Wanna see something kinda funny? Look at my facebook profile picture- that handsome guy that has me smiling from ear to ear? Guess who that is. I finally took the time to get to know him one afternoon when a bunch of us went to dinner together and found out that he was a pretty ok guy... ok enough that I have now been dating him for almost a year. I could have missed out on what has been the best year of my life, all because I judged a book by it's cover rather than actually reading it like God would do.
So just think next time you start to make a judgment or make a negative comment. You might be talking to a girl like the one in the video... maybe you have come across the very unimpressive little kid that God has called on to be king... maybe you are in a situation like me and are about to miss out on a pretty incredible relationship... maybe you will get lucky and nothing will happen (HA! not likely).
So lets actually live up to the image we were made in, and act the way that God would- judge by the heart, not the outward appearance because even the most ordinary can be extraordinary.
The church needs to grow UP
PC(USA) has a new curriculum out called "Deep and Wide" that focuses on four main areas (Evangelism, Discipleship, Servanthood, and Diversity) that the church can and needs to explore more in a variety of ways. Rev. Emily Odom has been leading a discussion about Deep and Wide at my church over the last few weeks and today we focused on the idea of servanthood, very convenient since that is basically the focus of my call. I found it very interesting that we spent just a few minutes talking about all of the things that Starmount is doing in the way of service (The Lost Boys, a community garden, GIHN, Mexico Missions, missions at home... the list goes on for a while), but we spent almost 45 minutes talking about how to get youth involved in service (even more the focus of my call).
I find it very interesting how seven people can sit around a table and talk about how important it is for youth to be involved in the church and service, but as much as I love my church, it will take a long while for most of what we were saying to happen. This isn't anything against my church, it just seems to be a trend I am seeing lately in all churches- they like to sit around and plan to plan to plan to plan... but never IMPLEMENT. Problem #1 with a very simple solution.
I told the group about an incident at Summer in the City this past year when I was cutting packs of toilet paper in half at a food pantry here in Raleigh. I remember standing there with two eighth grade girls and asking them a question I asked every year, "Why are you here when you could be home sitting by the pool or playing video games? Why did you pay money to work when I am sure your parents have plenty of work you can do at home?". As always, their answer almost brought me to tears when one of the girls responded "Because I have so much, and they have so little". WOW. Here is the thing though- these kids DON'T KNOW that this is the case until they SEE it! We can tell them all we want, but it means nothing until it becomes reality (and this aint The Hills reality...). The hardest part of making this a reality for them is that parents and other adults in the church think the kids won't want to work. NEWSFLASH: the kids at my church have REQUESTED to do more service... the kids at Summer in the City REQUESTED that we knock out a day at the lake so they could do more service. Sure, initially they may say no because of the unfamiliarity of the situation, not to mention the fact that the "cool kids" aren't doing it. That is the point when the adults need to take initiative and make it happen- just like getting into cold water, you aren't going to slowly get in- you are going to JUMP IN.
So here is what I mean by the church needing to grow UP-
We need to put more focus on helping the youth serve and here is how it works for the church:
1) Youth want to serve, so we find somewhere for them to serve
2) Parents chaperon on said service project
3) Parents go back to their circle, Sunday school class, friends, etc. and tell them about the trip
4) HOPEFULLY they get excited and chaperon the next one and spread the word again, all while the kids are bringing their friends
5) The excitement of service moves UP through generations!!
It isn't terribly exciting for the youth to see "old people" serving- that is "just what they do" as far as all the kids are concerned, but when "old people" see the kids excited about serving it can renew a spark in them and get them involved as well.
I SAW this happen first hand when I directed Summer in the City and know that it can happen at any church if we just stop planning and actually IMPLEMENT. The youth are the future of our church and unless we start getting them involved in stuff they are REQUESTING and need spiritually, we won't have much of a future.
I find it very interesting how seven people can sit around a table and talk about how important it is for youth to be involved in the church and service, but as much as I love my church, it will take a long while for most of what we were saying to happen. This isn't anything against my church, it just seems to be a trend I am seeing lately in all churches- they like to sit around and plan to plan to plan to plan... but never IMPLEMENT. Problem #1 with a very simple solution.
I told the group about an incident at Summer in the City this past year when I was cutting packs of toilet paper in half at a food pantry here in Raleigh. I remember standing there with two eighth grade girls and asking them a question I asked every year, "Why are you here when you could be home sitting by the pool or playing video games? Why did you pay money to work when I am sure your parents have plenty of work you can do at home?". As always, their answer almost brought me to tears when one of the girls responded "Because I have so much, and they have so little". WOW. Here is the thing though- these kids DON'T KNOW that this is the case until they SEE it! We can tell them all we want, but it means nothing until it becomes reality (and this aint The Hills reality...). The hardest part of making this a reality for them is that parents and other adults in the church think the kids won't want to work. NEWSFLASH: the kids at my church have REQUESTED to do more service... the kids at Summer in the City REQUESTED that we knock out a day at the lake so they could do more service. Sure, initially they may say no because of the unfamiliarity of the situation, not to mention the fact that the "cool kids" aren't doing it. That is the point when the adults need to take initiative and make it happen- just like getting into cold water, you aren't going to slowly get in- you are going to JUMP IN.
So here is what I mean by the church needing to grow UP-
We need to put more focus on helping the youth serve and here is how it works for the church:
1) Youth want to serve, so we find somewhere for them to serve
2) Parents chaperon on said service project
3) Parents go back to their circle, Sunday school class, friends, etc. and tell them about the trip
4) HOPEFULLY they get excited and chaperon the next one and spread the word again, all while the kids are bringing their friends
5) The excitement of service moves UP through generations!!
It isn't terribly exciting for the youth to see "old people" serving- that is "just what they do" as far as all the kids are concerned, but when "old people" see the kids excited about serving it can renew a spark in them and get them involved as well.
I SAW this happen first hand when I directed Summer in the City and know that it can happen at any church if we just stop planning and actually IMPLEMENT. The youth are the future of our church and unless we start getting them involved in stuff they are REQUESTING and need spiritually, we won't have much of a future.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Open Windows
The last few months have definitely be interesting. I have tried to do a blog here and there but never could come up with anything to say. I have been spending a lot of time trying to finally understand all that I did and learned over the last few years at UNCG, get a grasp on the reality of NOW, and try to lay out some kind of plan for tomorrow. I have had days where I figured it would be so much easier, and "more secure" to just find a job at a school and be a band director rather than trying to dig around to find ridiculous amounts of money for school and try to figure out how all of this is going to work. Needless to say, there has been a whole lot of prayer on my end. Sometimes I felt like God had created a box for me that said "Jordan's prayers- come back when she finally makes up her mind".
Even with all of this going on, I have continually seen God opening windows for me so that I could breathe again. Over the last few months I have spent many hours filling out scholarship applications to try to cover the cost of seminary that I really can't do on my own. A lot of these open windows have come in the form of responses to these applications. As of now, all of my tuition and half of my living expenses have been covered. Anyone could understand the relief that this has brought me.
I have also found these open windows in a lot of music areas. One of my biggest fears when it comes to going to seminary is the fact that I won't be able to play trumpet. While I have consciously made the decision to skip out on practicing a lot lately, I know that it is my outlet for stress and frustration a lot of the time- things that I know I will be dealing with in Richmond. In an attempt to both a) get money and b) keep playing, I emailed a bunch of churches in Richmond earlier this week. I was almost in tears when I heard back from one in particular. This church has a brass group play every week which is awesome, but even more are the professional opportunities that have opened up to me. The music director is really close with Chris Martin (Chicago Symphony Orchestra) and his brother, Michael (Boston Symphony) and is working on getting one or both of them to do masterclasses at this church, and I would be able to play for them. Not to mention the possibility of playing with them at Christmas and Easter. These are opportunities I NEVER thought I would find in seminary.
So I am getting my chops back, and really trying to remember that when I put my life in God's hands and relinquish all control, he will do marvelous things. I have done what I can do for now to pay for school- it is now up to the committees. I am doing what I can to get my chops back, but I have to remember WHY I even started playing and why I am able to continue- GOD.
When you put your faith and life in God's hands, HE WILL PROVIDE. He may not always do it as blatantly as I have been blessed with lately, but he WILL do it. You just have to open your eyes and take a deep breath. When you breathe that fresh air in and don't know where it came from, just look up and look to God- it is from him and that window he opened just for you.
Even with all of this going on, I have continually seen God opening windows for me so that I could breathe again. Over the last few months I have spent many hours filling out scholarship applications to try to cover the cost of seminary that I really can't do on my own. A lot of these open windows have come in the form of responses to these applications. As of now, all of my tuition and half of my living expenses have been covered. Anyone could understand the relief that this has brought me.
I have also found these open windows in a lot of music areas. One of my biggest fears when it comes to going to seminary is the fact that I won't be able to play trumpet. While I have consciously made the decision to skip out on practicing a lot lately, I know that it is my outlet for stress and frustration a lot of the time- things that I know I will be dealing with in Richmond. In an attempt to both a) get money and b) keep playing, I emailed a bunch of churches in Richmond earlier this week. I was almost in tears when I heard back from one in particular. This church has a brass group play every week which is awesome, but even more are the professional opportunities that have opened up to me. The music director is really close with Chris Martin (Chicago Symphony Orchestra) and his brother, Michael (Boston Symphony) and is working on getting one or both of them to do masterclasses at this church, and I would be able to play for them. Not to mention the possibility of playing with them at Christmas and Easter. These are opportunities I NEVER thought I would find in seminary.
So I am getting my chops back, and really trying to remember that when I put my life in God's hands and relinquish all control, he will do marvelous things. I have done what I can do for now to pay for school- it is now up to the committees. I am doing what I can to get my chops back, but I have to remember WHY I even started playing and why I am able to continue- GOD.
When you put your faith and life in God's hands, HE WILL PROVIDE. He may not always do it as blatantly as I have been blessed with lately, but he WILL do it. You just have to open your eyes and take a deep breath. When you breathe that fresh air in and don't know where it came from, just look up and look to God- it is from him and that window he opened just for you.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
"For such a time as this"
While I have time off from school, I have taken some time to read a bunch of books from the recommended reading list that Union gave to me last year. I will be the first to admit that some of these are those "forced" readings that you are doing because you know you should, but they aren't really what you would be reading if you were given an option, but the one I am reading now is actually pretty good.
"The Close" by Chloe Breyer tells of a young woman's first year in seminary. There are many differences between Chloe and myself- she is a "second career" student, married, and Episcopalian while I have not really had a real career yet, am not married, and Presbyterian. However I think that no matter the denomination, career status, and marital status, there are a few things about seminary that are pretty common throughout. As I slowly make my way through the book (for some reason I don't move as fast through books unless they are Max Lucado or Dan Brown, who unfortunately doesn't have any books to help me right now), a few things have stuck out to me, but one imparticular reference keeps hitting me in the head.
In the story of Queen Esther (yep, goin all Old Testament on ya now!), the king has taken some Jews captive and is planning on destroying them (it is important to know that Esther is a Jew but has not revealed this to the king). After hearing of what is going on, Esther decides that she must do something since she is living in the king's house, knowing that it is very possible that she and her family will be wiped out if she reveals who she is. However, Mordecai says "Who knows? Perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this (Esther 4:14)." The thought that Esther, a Jew, would be made queen so that she could free the other Jews from the hold of the king is a huge thing to comprehend. But that is how God does things... he makes them so miraculous and incredible that it is almost hard to believe and we then have to let our faith guide us.
That is kind of how I feel today. I just completed 4 1/2 years of jumping hurdles to complete two music degrees, and I am well on my way in the race and hurdles to even begin my time in seminary. I will be the first to say that this is HARD and the last thing I want to do is keep jumping hurdles and fighting for what I believe. Honestly there have been times that I thought it might just be better if I let it all go and go find a middle school band to teach, but there is no possible way that I could do that. Did Esther let the fact that she was a Jew stop her from going to save the rest of the Jews? Nope. So why would I let the fact that one person may not like what I am doing stop me from doing it?
I have big aspirations for the future. I have dreams to help the youth of the church in ways that my unique combination of gifts will bring alive. Was life made easy for Esther? Nope. But she was made queen "for such a time as this" and I feel that I am called to ministry "for such a time as this". Yes, I am still discerning what that call really is, and I don't think that I will ever have the full answer, and especially won't come close sitting at home reading books. I need some time in full and dedicated study, in discussion with others that are going through the same process, and those that have and know how to guide me.
We are all called to do something "for such a time as this". The question is what is your something?
NOW is the perfect time to do it... just don't the hurdles and non-believers get in your way!!
"The Close" by Chloe Breyer tells of a young woman's first year in seminary. There are many differences between Chloe and myself- she is a "second career" student, married, and Episcopalian while I have not really had a real career yet, am not married, and Presbyterian. However I think that no matter the denomination, career status, and marital status, there are a few things about seminary that are pretty common throughout. As I slowly make my way through the book (for some reason I don't move as fast through books unless they are Max Lucado or Dan Brown, who unfortunately doesn't have any books to help me right now), a few things have stuck out to me, but one imparticular reference keeps hitting me in the head.
In the story of Queen Esther (yep, goin all Old Testament on ya now!), the king has taken some Jews captive and is planning on destroying them (it is important to know that Esther is a Jew but has not revealed this to the king). After hearing of what is going on, Esther decides that she must do something since she is living in the king's house, knowing that it is very possible that she and her family will be wiped out if she reveals who she is. However, Mordecai says "Who knows? Perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this (Esther 4:14)." The thought that Esther, a Jew, would be made queen so that she could free the other Jews from the hold of the king is a huge thing to comprehend. But that is how God does things... he makes them so miraculous and incredible that it is almost hard to believe and we then have to let our faith guide us.
That is kind of how I feel today. I just completed 4 1/2 years of jumping hurdles to complete two music degrees, and I am well on my way in the race and hurdles to even begin my time in seminary. I will be the first to say that this is HARD and the last thing I want to do is keep jumping hurdles and fighting for what I believe. Honestly there have been times that I thought it might just be better if I let it all go and go find a middle school band to teach, but there is no possible way that I could do that. Did Esther let the fact that she was a Jew stop her from going to save the rest of the Jews? Nope. So why would I let the fact that one person may not like what I am doing stop me from doing it?
I have big aspirations for the future. I have dreams to help the youth of the church in ways that my unique combination of gifts will bring alive. Was life made easy for Esther? Nope. But she was made queen "for such a time as this" and I feel that I am called to ministry "for such a time as this". Yes, I am still discerning what that call really is, and I don't think that I will ever have the full answer, and especially won't come close sitting at home reading books. I need some time in full and dedicated study, in discussion with others that are going through the same process, and those that have and know how to guide me.
We are all called to do something "for such a time as this". The question is what is your something?
NOW is the perfect time to do it... just don't the hurdles and non-believers get in your way!!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
That Gray Area in Between
... That is pretty much how I feel about where I am in life right now- a gray area. I graduated from college two months ago, but don't start seminary until July (only 4 months and 20 days until class starts!). I am back in my parent's house in Raleigh, but spending my weekends in Greensboro. I have a temporary job at my old church, and occasionally sub at my old daycare job. There are very few constants in my life right now and quite frankly, it is stressful and scary. Who would have thought that being able to sleep in and do nothing everyday would be stressful and scary??
My temporary job at the church is doing inventory of the books in the library and trying to sort them out and make the library accessible again. This is not the easiest of jobs since it hasn't been done in 10 years and was never maintained, but it very interesting. I have a bad habit of scanning the books as I do inventory and I have seen a lot of interesting things that I will hopefully have time to go back and read when I am done. Aside from the runny nose reminding me of my allergies from sorting through old, dusty books I have been reminded of a very important thing- no matter where we are in life or what we are doing, God is always there.
I have decided that it is completely normal for me to be freaked out right now. I am "leaving" what I know and going to the "unknown". I am reading books about what to expect in seminary and quite frankly, there are times that I wonder why I haven't given up yet. That is where God comes in. He isn't going to throw something at us that we can't handle. Sure, the library is slightly intimidating, but with every hour that passes, I see one more shelf empty. With every page I read that tells me how hard seminary will be, there are two that encourage me and remind me of why I am taking this turn in my life.
18 “Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
19 See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.
(Isaiah 43:18-19)
This verse is a reminder to me that it doesn't really matter where I am right now, gray area or otherwise, because God has so much more planned for me! He is making a way for me so that I can not only survive, but be successful in my next endeavor (seminary) even though it may not seem like it at first. With God's help, I will finish the library, and with God's help, I will find a way to push through the next few months of my life and then the 3 years in seminary.
No matter what is going on in your life, there is always at least one constant- GOD. He will always pull you out of your gray area and shed a bit of light on it, and if you think about it, a brighter gray is kind of like silver and who doesn't like that?
My temporary job at the church is doing inventory of the books in the library and trying to sort them out and make the library accessible again. This is not the easiest of jobs since it hasn't been done in 10 years and was never maintained, but it very interesting. I have a bad habit of scanning the books as I do inventory and I have seen a lot of interesting things that I will hopefully have time to go back and read when I am done. Aside from the runny nose reminding me of my allergies from sorting through old, dusty books I have been reminded of a very important thing- no matter where we are in life or what we are doing, God is always there.
I have decided that it is completely normal for me to be freaked out right now. I am "leaving" what I know and going to the "unknown". I am reading books about what to expect in seminary and quite frankly, there are times that I wonder why I haven't given up yet. That is where God comes in. He isn't going to throw something at us that we can't handle. Sure, the library is slightly intimidating, but with every hour that passes, I see one more shelf empty. With every page I read that tells me how hard seminary will be, there are two that encourage me and remind me of why I am taking this turn in my life.
18 “Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
19 See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.
(Isaiah 43:18-19)
This verse is a reminder to me that it doesn't really matter where I am right now, gray area or otherwise, because God has so much more planned for me! He is making a way for me so that I can not only survive, but be successful in my next endeavor (seminary) even though it may not seem like it at first. With God's help, I will finish the library, and with God's help, I will find a way to push through the next few months of my life and then the 3 years in seminary.
No matter what is going on in your life, there is always at least one constant- GOD. He will always pull you out of your gray area and shed a bit of light on it, and if you think about it, a brighter gray is kind of like silver and who doesn't like that?
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Find your sparkle...
Tonight I had the wonderful privilege to go on a “father-daughter date” with my Dad to one of his meetings. Now, for most kids this isn’t such a big deal. However this meeting wasn’t like any other you might even POSSIBLY begin to imagine. This meeting was one of the “Triangle Santa Buddies”. I am going to bypass the background of how/ why because if you really know me, you know the answer more or less and if you don’t know yet, that is a whole other LONG blog post.
Basically tonight’s meeting was a debriefing of the Christmas season- the highs and lows for each Santa and discussion about each. During these discussions, I had a flashback to the last Guinness and the Good News that I attended when Andrew posed the question, “How do you keep the Christmas spirit year round?”. Looking around that room I saw multiple answers to this question.
These men pour their heart and soul into a ministry that most would call them insane for. I have. Listening to their stories of watching families grow up as they act as the family’s personal Santa, having a 105 year old women light up when they enter the room, the gifts they give the children, and the pure and undying FAITH that they have in God was remarkable. The stories they told reminded me of stories from the Bible, all happening today in a world when miracles “don’t exist”.
The most incredible part? These men don’t stop being Santa on December 26. It is a year round job. They tell stories of visiting a child in the hospital, or the one that climbed up into the sleigh with them, or even the lady in the hospice bed… all BEFORE Christmas. All of these people had their “last” Christmas weeks, even months, before the calendar says it should happen. It doesn’t even phase these men if and when they put on the Santa suit in the middle of July.
Now, what I’m getting at with all of this. Christmas isn’t about the red suit. It isn’t about the Christmas tree. It definitely isn’t about the presents. Christmas is about the SPIRIT. The spirit is what these men share with everyone they come across EVERY DAY. The spirit is what we find in the manger of those nativities that I am sure everyone packed away already. The spirit is the undying LOVE of JESUS CHRIST. Jesus wasn’t just around for Christmas day… he was around throughout the entire year. He went around and met the people, ate with the people, lived with the people, and most importantly spread his LOVE throughout the world to everyone he came across. HE said “let the children come to me” and through that he spread his love and spirit to every child and their family (the love and spirit that should be the focus of the Christmas season).
SO how do we keep this spirit alive all year? You don’t have to pull on the red suit and the black boots (although it is pretty awesome to see these men in full dress), you pull out and SHOW OFF the love of Jesus Christ to everyone that you come across. Yes, it is “Ordinary time” but as Mary pointed out in GGN, ordinary time aint ordinary in any way what so ever, so why don’t we celebrate this by keeping the love and spirit that we find during the month of December, through every other month?
It isn’t hard to do. Like I mentioned in my post about the Wise Men… all it takes is listening to someone’s story, reaching out your hand to help someone up (literally and figuratively), or even just smiling at them. While it is preferable that they know WHY, it isn’t necessary. They will figure it out in some way, and at the very least, I can almost guarantee that they will pass it on! The Christmas spirit is alive in every single one of us, all we have to do is find the little spark that it leaves and fan it until it can become a flame to share with the world.
I hear people talking about how Santa is isn’t real all the time. I am 22 years old and this is my answer to the question “Is Santa real?”…
The SPIRIT of Santa is as real and alive as ever. All you have to do is look for that sparkle in your life, the sparkle that comes from the inner flame of the love of Jesus Christ. Every man that was in that room tonight takes on the persona of a man named Santa Claus, and it doesn’t happen when they pull on the red suit. It happens when they open their hearts to the world, ready to be the gift givers that Santa Steve spoke of so eloquently tonight. Fifteen bearded men sat around the dinner table tonight. Some were in jeans, some were in red vests, and some had just come from their day job. Every one of them has a name that their friends and family know them by, but every one of them carries an even more important name- Santa. Santa is not just a name for the jolly old man that comes on Christmas Eve every year… it is a name and spirit that every single one of us can take on as we share the same love and spirit every day that these men were celebrating and sharing tonight.
My charge to you tonight? Fill in the blanks…
“Hi, my name is Santa (your first name) and I am going to fan my spark within so I can share the fire and spirit and love that was shared with me through the birth of Jesus Christ. I will do this every day by _____, because Christmas isn’t just on December 25th. Christmas is 365 days a year.”
Basically tonight’s meeting was a debriefing of the Christmas season- the highs and lows for each Santa and discussion about each. During these discussions, I had a flashback to the last Guinness and the Good News that I attended when Andrew posed the question, “How do you keep the Christmas spirit year round?”. Looking around that room I saw multiple answers to this question.
These men pour their heart and soul into a ministry that most would call them insane for. I have. Listening to their stories of watching families grow up as they act as the family’s personal Santa, having a 105 year old women light up when they enter the room, the gifts they give the children, and the pure and undying FAITH that they have in God was remarkable. The stories they told reminded me of stories from the Bible, all happening today in a world when miracles “don’t exist”.
The most incredible part? These men don’t stop being Santa on December 26. It is a year round job. They tell stories of visiting a child in the hospital, or the one that climbed up into the sleigh with them, or even the lady in the hospice bed… all BEFORE Christmas. All of these people had their “last” Christmas weeks, even months, before the calendar says it should happen. It doesn’t even phase these men if and when they put on the Santa suit in the middle of July.
Now, what I’m getting at with all of this. Christmas isn’t about the red suit. It isn’t about the Christmas tree. It definitely isn’t about the presents. Christmas is about the SPIRIT. The spirit is what these men share with everyone they come across EVERY DAY. The spirit is what we find in the manger of those nativities that I am sure everyone packed away already. The spirit is the undying LOVE of JESUS CHRIST. Jesus wasn’t just around for Christmas day… he was around throughout the entire year. He went around and met the people, ate with the people, lived with the people, and most importantly spread his LOVE throughout the world to everyone he came across. HE said “let the children come to me” and through that he spread his love and spirit to every child and their family (the love and spirit that should be the focus of the Christmas season).
SO how do we keep this spirit alive all year? You don’t have to pull on the red suit and the black boots (although it is pretty awesome to see these men in full dress), you pull out and SHOW OFF the love of Jesus Christ to everyone that you come across. Yes, it is “Ordinary time” but as Mary pointed out in GGN, ordinary time aint ordinary in any way what so ever, so why don’t we celebrate this by keeping the love and spirit that we find during the month of December, through every other month?
It isn’t hard to do. Like I mentioned in my post about the Wise Men… all it takes is listening to someone’s story, reaching out your hand to help someone up (literally and figuratively), or even just smiling at them. While it is preferable that they know WHY, it isn’t necessary. They will figure it out in some way, and at the very least, I can almost guarantee that they will pass it on! The Christmas spirit is alive in every single one of us, all we have to do is find the little spark that it leaves and fan it until it can become a flame to share with the world.
I hear people talking about how Santa is isn’t real all the time. I am 22 years old and this is my answer to the question “Is Santa real?”…
The SPIRIT of Santa is as real and alive as ever. All you have to do is look for that sparkle in your life, the sparkle that comes from the inner flame of the love of Jesus Christ. Every man that was in that room tonight takes on the persona of a man named Santa Claus, and it doesn’t happen when they pull on the red suit. It happens when they open their hearts to the world, ready to be the gift givers that Santa Steve spoke of so eloquently tonight. Fifteen bearded men sat around the dinner table tonight. Some were in jeans, some were in red vests, and some had just come from their day job. Every one of them has a name that their friends and family know them by, but every one of them carries an even more important name- Santa. Santa is not just a name for the jolly old man that comes on Christmas Eve every year… it is a name and spirit that every single one of us can take on as we share the same love and spirit every day that these men were celebrating and sharing tonight.
My charge to you tonight? Fill in the blanks…
“Hi, my name is Santa (your first name) and I am going to fan my spark within so I can share the fire and spirit and love that was shared with me through the birth of Jesus Christ. I will do this every day by _____, because Christmas isn’t just on December 25th. Christmas is 365 days a year.”
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