... That is pretty much how I feel about where I am in life right now- a gray area. I graduated from college two months ago, but don't start seminary until July (only 4 months and 20 days until class starts!). I am back in my parent's house in Raleigh, but spending my weekends in Greensboro. I have a temporary job at my old church, and occasionally sub at my old daycare job. There are very few constants in my life right now and quite frankly, it is stressful and scary. Who would have thought that being able to sleep in and do nothing everyday would be stressful and scary??
My temporary job at the church is doing inventory of the books in the library and trying to sort them out and make the library accessible again. This is not the easiest of jobs since it hasn't been done in 10 years and was never maintained, but it very interesting. I have a bad habit of scanning the books as I do inventory and I have seen a lot of interesting things that I will hopefully have time to go back and read when I am done. Aside from the runny nose reminding me of my allergies from sorting through old, dusty books I have been reminded of a very important thing- no matter where we are in life or what we are doing, God is always there.
I have decided that it is completely normal for me to be freaked out right now. I am "leaving" what I know and going to the "unknown". I am reading books about what to expect in seminary and quite frankly, there are times that I wonder why I haven't given up yet. That is where God comes in. He isn't going to throw something at us that we can't handle. Sure, the library is slightly intimidating, but with every hour that passes, I see one more shelf empty. With every page I read that tells me how hard seminary will be, there are two that encourage me and remind me of why I am taking this turn in my life.
18 “Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
19 See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.
(Isaiah 43:18-19)
This verse is a reminder to me that it doesn't really matter where I am right now, gray area or otherwise, because God has so much more planned for me! He is making a way for me so that I can not only survive, but be successful in my next endeavor (seminary) even though it may not seem like it at first. With God's help, I will finish the library, and with God's help, I will find a way to push through the next few months of my life and then the 3 years in seminary.
No matter what is going on in your life, there is always at least one constant- GOD. He will always pull you out of your gray area and shed a bit of light on it, and if you think about it, a brighter gray is kind of like silver and who doesn't like that?
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