I love and hate Pinterest. It is such an amazing way to procrastinate, but that is also the biggest problem with it. HOWEVER, a few good things have come from it- I have great decorating ideas for when I move into Melrose next year, I have enough recipes to cook something different everyday for a few months, and my obsession for quotes is being met quite nicely. Two quotes in particular have stood out to me and are now taped on my computer where I will see them for about 80% of my day.
“You are far too smart to be the only one standing in your way.”
“What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be.”
This last month has probably been the most difficult one since I got here last July. The adjustment coming back from Ghana was not terribly hard at first- I just really wanted fish sticks and a hot shower- but as I started dealing with the normal stress and struggles of life here at home, I missed Ghana terribly. Drama with friends, a completely overloaded schedule, and students quitting lessons among other things completely bogged me down.
Coming home from Ghana, I definitely had a beautiful picture of how life would be now that I was a changed woman. Friendships would be stronger after realizing how much we missed each other for those two weeks, I would be so well adjusted to school that class would be a breeze, I would hold onto the “no stress” attitude I had in Ghana, and basically life would be perfect. I blame the anti-malaria meds for these crazy hallucinations! Now, I’m not saying it is bad to dream, because anyone who has ever met me knows that I definitely live in my own dream world, but we can’t go running too far with things that we forget the reality.
Now, that first quote comes into play- “You are far too smart to be the only one standing in your way”. Yep, I think this attitude that comes with the second quote kinda puts me in that “standing in your own way” place. I do that a lot. I think my paper isn’t good enough or my thought isn’t good enough so I keep quiet, I figure I haven’t “earned my place” so I don’t try to play a solo, I’m not as pretty as the girl at the end of the bar so I don’t talk to the guy… we all do it, and my last month has been filled with it.
The challenge that we have to meet is finding the middle ground between the two. DREAM!! It is good for you! Without dreams, we have nothing to strive for and as Carrie Underwood sings, “Thank God even crazy dreams come true”. If I didn’t live in dream world, I wouldn’t be here right now, I wouldn’t have gone to Ghana, I wouldn’t have blown my two trumpet recitals out of the water… our dreams give us the energy and passion needed to push through the trials that life hands us. I always tell my students to stop and close their eyes before they play a single note, even on scales. I want them to think about what the world’s greatest trumpet sounds like (at this point I have also had them listen to the best of the best) and instead of picturing someone else playing that trumpet, they are playing it. Once they have that sound and picture in their head, then they can take that deep breath and play. Sure, it doesn’t always come out sounding great but it does come out sounding a bit better than the last time and continually gets better. We need to have enough dream power to imagine that we are the best of the best, not the guy across the classroom or the girl at the end of the bar or the principle soloist.
However, we need to keep control of our dreams just enough that we know the reality of things. When my students play the world’s worst scale (and yes… I am pretty sure some of them really have at times), I make them stop and first tell me what was great about it, but then we move on and talk about what wasn’t so great and how to fix it. In dancing, this is called spotting. You can spin in circles all day long, but only if you keep your eye on one single part of reality, otherwise it all becomes a blur and you get dizzy and fall down. This control needs to be realistic, though.
Last night, I went over to Watts Chapel to sight-read a piece of music that I have wanted to play since the moment I set foot in the UNCG School of Music. While I was there, I was in constant competition with every other trumpet player, including the grad students (like I said, let your dreams guide you!). However, for every thing I did right, they did two things right in my mind. I kept my confidence up though and when I was away from the building, I really tried to imagine that I was as good, if not better, than they were. Quite honestly, I don’t know that I was too far behind but I was definitely back there. Well, as time went on and the professors kept throwing more curve balls my way, I let them win. I quit practicing like I should, and quite frankly, I lost my love for music. Everything quickly became “do enough to get by” because I was convinced that there was no way I would win the professors over or finally surpass the grad students. My senior recital wasn’t bad by any means, but it wasn’t what I could have done by any means. However, I never even started the 3rd movement of one piece because too many people had already played it and I “knew” that it wouldn’t be nearly as good as theirs. I only did three pieces, where most people would do 4-5, and quite frankly, two of the three were not huge challenges.
But, back to the point. Last night, I finally pulled out the Hummel Concerto and let loose. It has been about two years since my senior recital and last lesson, I finally feel like I am free and allowed to play what I want- and I did. It wasn’t great, but it was sight reading. Listening to the recording that I made, it isn’t at all what I heard when I played it, but that is part of the dream. In my head, I was Maurice Andre playing in a packed concert hall with an orchestra behind me. In the video, I am playing from a pulpit instead of a music stand so I can’t really see the music, I am in a very empty chapel, and there isn’t even piano accompaniment. I look back on the video and hear things that I definitely need to work on, and things that I probably would have glossed over in my final year or two at UNCG. However, if I am ever going to be in a packed concert hall like Maurice Andre, I can’t stand in my own way. I have to be over there every single day, taking the piece measure by measure the way I have my students do it in lessons. Sure, I might never make it to the packed concert hall- that isn’t my focus anymore (now it is the packed sanctuary!), but that doesn’t mean that I can’t close my eyes and imagine myself there every time I pick up that horn.
I think that is why I have started playing so much lately. When I pick up my horn, I am transported to that stage. While I am playing, I forget about the drama, I forget about the papers, I forget about the stress. The most incredible feeling is when I bring that horn down after playing the final part of the Hindemith Sonata, “All Men Must Die”. I have been playing half notes and quarter notes at 40 beats per minute, at all different dynamics, and any quiver in the note ruins the very solemn mood. When the horn comes down after the last C, the breath that I take in is big and deep and refreshing. For that moment, that breath is the only thing that matters and I feel incredible. Trumpet is my escape from reality again.
SO… find your escape, find the place where your dreams come alive. However, hold onto reality just enough that you don’t get completely lost but also, don’t let reality bring you back so much that you let your dreams go. No, life isn’t perfect by any means, but my dream world is more alive than ever lately.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Ghana Journa- Accra, pt. 2
Friday, January 20
Once again I am writing from a very bumpy bus. Yesterday was another amazing day. Surprise, surprise!
Once again we spent the day visiting ministries of the EPC. The first was the Gemini clinic, a small health clinic run by four ladies. The head nurse actually lives on site. The clinic sees all “minor” ailments and refers major ones. There is very little room, medicine, or money but 189 babies were delivered there last year. They are also in desperate need of a new room.
We also visited a program for the elderly that was started by our guide. This is a place for them to go during the day for health screening, exercise, meals, and games.
Finally, we visited Peki seminary (see notes). This was an interesting experience and not my favorite. This is also the first time 10A was brought up directly, surprisingly. Thankfully we had Roger and Frances to field that one.
This morning I got a chance to deliver the message for our EPC devotion. What an awesome experience! Opportunities like that are such huge confidence boosters in this time of discernment.
Today was amazing once we got going (we are home now- I had to quit on the bus). First, we stopped at a monkey sanctuary where we hiked for about 20 minutes before finding monkeys. We were able to feed them bananas and they even climbed on us! Such an unreal experience. Then we went to see the Wli waterfalls. After a 45 min. hike we saw the falls and two minutes later Ben, Ginna, and I were in the water. We played under the falls for a bit since the water was only waist deep. After a picnic and more playing we made the 45 minute hike back.
Tonight we will hang out with some young adults here. This should be lots of fun to learn through someone a bit more relatable.
Later…
Tonight we had dinner with the EPC moderator, clerk, and a few other key people. This was a great chance to share our thanks for all they have done and what we have learned from them. As is custom, we received a few gifts of kente cloth (I now have more than I know what to do with) and wall calendars.
Following dinner and discussion, we went outside to dance with the young adults for a while. Unfortunately there was not a group discussion like I hoped for but we did get to talk to a few people very briefly and Ginna and I learned how to play drums.
I am so overwhelmed by what I am doing. Three years ago this was only a nagging thought in the back of my mind. Now, I am in W. Africa, halfway through my first year of seminary, and have never been more sure of anything in my life. I came on this trip to learn about Presbys in ghana but have learned so much more about myself. I am now more than ready to take on spring semester and see what it holds for me!
Sunday, January 22
We arrived back in Accra yesterday afternoon after a visit to a dam on the Voltic and probably the best meal I have had since home. I am still loving it here but am very much looking forward to being home. I occasionally find myself thinking too much and creating problems for myself where there aren’t any. However, I have figured some stuff out that might make a difference for me back home- we shall see. I think the biggest and best thing I can do for myself is focus on all of the good things and keep pushing for my future- the one that I have dreamed about since I was a kid. I have a lot planned that I am looking forward to and I think if I keep focus on that I will be better. I’m not saying I don’t hurt some when I think about the stuff that is missing but I am going to try to put that at the back of my mind. This trip has done a lot to show me what amazing things I do have at home and also that the grass isn’t always greener.
It is slightly ironic that as I write this, one of my favorite songs came on and I think it explains a lot about how I feel.
“I don’t know if you can see the changes that have come over me.
These last few days I’ve been afraid I might drift away.
So I’ve been telling stories and singing songs to make me think
about where I came from, that’s the reason why I seem so far
away today.”
This whole song sums up my feelings about home right now, and about leaving here.
“If I should become a stranger, know that it would make me more than sad.”
This entry is all over the place because I am suddenly being hit with all of these feelings as I lay here in bed for my last night in Ghana. I desperately want to be home and to begin with my new outlook on life, but I desperately want to stay here. Ghana feels like home now.
I knew this would happen. I even told my friends it would. I fell in love while in Ghana. I fell in love with the rich culture, passion, mission, and people. I could handle the food more if I had more control over it and even the trash if I had real shoes. But this always happens. My love for adventure is both a blessing and a curse. I want to come back soon. And Mexico. And Scotland.
I honestly think this could be part of my call- small churches abroad. I don’t want to decide that in any way now. I am on a Ghana/ travel high. But this isn’t the first time I though about it. I have such an appreciation of various forms of Christianity around the world and desire to go deeper. There are may ways to do this so I’m not jumping yet. But I do know that I need to tie it in somehow.
Wow. This has taken a drastic turn. I think this is what happens when exhausted, full, homesick, curious, sad, and excited all combine.
Callin’ it a night.
Once again I am writing from a very bumpy bus. Yesterday was another amazing day. Surprise, surprise!
Once again we spent the day visiting ministries of the EPC. The first was the Gemini clinic, a small health clinic run by four ladies. The head nurse actually lives on site. The clinic sees all “minor” ailments and refers major ones. There is very little room, medicine, or money but 189 babies were delivered there last year. They are also in desperate need of a new room.
We also visited a program for the elderly that was started by our guide. This is a place for them to go during the day for health screening, exercise, meals, and games.
Finally, we visited Peki seminary (see notes). This was an interesting experience and not my favorite. This is also the first time 10A was brought up directly, surprisingly. Thankfully we had Roger and Frances to field that one.
This morning I got a chance to deliver the message for our EPC devotion. What an awesome experience! Opportunities like that are such huge confidence boosters in this time of discernment.
Today was amazing once we got going (we are home now- I had to quit on the bus). First, we stopped at a monkey sanctuary where we hiked for about 20 minutes before finding monkeys. We were able to feed them bananas and they even climbed on us! Such an unreal experience. Then we went to see the Wli waterfalls. After a 45 min. hike we saw the falls and two minutes later Ben, Ginna, and I were in the water. We played under the falls for a bit since the water was only waist deep. After a picnic and more playing we made the 45 minute hike back.
Tonight we will hang out with some young adults here. This should be lots of fun to learn through someone a bit more relatable.
Later…
Tonight we had dinner with the EPC moderator, clerk, and a few other key people. This was a great chance to share our thanks for all they have done and what we have learned from them. As is custom, we received a few gifts of kente cloth (I now have more than I know what to do with) and wall calendars.
Following dinner and discussion, we went outside to dance with the young adults for a while. Unfortunately there was not a group discussion like I hoped for but we did get to talk to a few people very briefly and Ginna and I learned how to play drums.
I am so overwhelmed by what I am doing. Three years ago this was only a nagging thought in the back of my mind. Now, I am in W. Africa, halfway through my first year of seminary, and have never been more sure of anything in my life. I came on this trip to learn about Presbys in ghana but have learned so much more about myself. I am now more than ready to take on spring semester and see what it holds for me!
Sunday, January 22
We arrived back in Accra yesterday afternoon after a visit to a dam on the Voltic and probably the best meal I have had since home. I am still loving it here but am very much looking forward to being home. I occasionally find myself thinking too much and creating problems for myself where there aren’t any. However, I have figured some stuff out that might make a difference for me back home- we shall see. I think the biggest and best thing I can do for myself is focus on all of the good things and keep pushing for my future- the one that I have dreamed about since I was a kid. I have a lot planned that I am looking forward to and I think if I keep focus on that I will be better. I’m not saying I don’t hurt some when I think about the stuff that is missing but I am going to try to put that at the back of my mind. This trip has done a lot to show me what amazing things I do have at home and also that the grass isn’t always greener.
It is slightly ironic that as I write this, one of my favorite songs came on and I think it explains a lot about how I feel.
“I don’t know if you can see the changes that have come over me.
These last few days I’ve been afraid I might drift away.
So I’ve been telling stories and singing songs to make me think
about where I came from, that’s the reason why I seem so far
away today.”
This whole song sums up my feelings about home right now, and about leaving here.
“If I should become a stranger, know that it would make me more than sad.”
This entry is all over the place because I am suddenly being hit with all of these feelings as I lay here in bed for my last night in Ghana. I desperately want to be home and to begin with my new outlook on life, but I desperately want to stay here. Ghana feels like home now.
I knew this would happen. I even told my friends it would. I fell in love while in Ghana. I fell in love with the rich culture, passion, mission, and people. I could handle the food more if I had more control over it and even the trash if I had real shoes. But this always happens. My love for adventure is both a blessing and a curse. I want to come back soon. And Mexico. And Scotland.
I honestly think this could be part of my call- small churches abroad. I don’t want to decide that in any way now. I am on a Ghana/ travel high. But this isn’t the first time I though about it. I have such an appreciation of various forms of Christianity around the world and desire to go deeper. There are may ways to do this so I’m not jumping yet. But I do know that I need to tie it in somehow.
Wow. This has taken a drastic turn. I think this is what happens when exhausted, full, homesick, curious, sad, and excited all combine.
Callin’ it a night.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Ghana Journal- Kumasi/ Ho
Saturday, January 14
Today has been incredible! More touristy than others though. First, we got to sleep early last night so I actually got 8 hours of sleep for the first time in probably two weeks. Also, we finally have running water! So we were all much happier today.
This morning we visited the Asante Chief Palace where we learned about the Asante tribe. Turns out the chief is not a blood line thing, but he is chosen if his Uncle was chief. The Queen Mother is also not married to the chief and is typically his mom or sister.
After lunch we went to the Kente Cloth Village where they weave this incredible cloth. It was very intimidating to buy because everyone bombarded you trying to get you to buy what they had and followed you until you did. We also went to the woodcarving village where it was very much the same thing.
Monday, January 16
I am taking advantage of our 7 hour bus ride to Ho (ho ho!) to write about yesterday’s experience.
The morning was spent with the 10 of us divided among 5 churches in the Asante Presbytery- Ben and I went to the church in Atonsu.
I was surprisingly very comfortable! Ben and I sat at the very front with the minister so we got to look at everyone- thankfully this wasn’t too bad since it will soon be our seat every week! For the first 30 minutes we broke into bible study groups by day name and my group talked about Matt 3: 11-17. The few things I picked up through translation from Twi were that repentance comes form John’s baptism and strength comes from Jesus’ baptism. Also that through our baptism we are able to do things better than before. I also think there may have been a prophet in the group who offered to tell us each a special message if we came to him after the service. After Bible study we came back together for worship. I was surprised by the number of traditional hymns that lacked the dance element for the most part. However there were 2-3 very upbeat and dance filled songs! The sermon was about 20 minutes and in English and Twi. I think this was the most surprising aspect because the random calling out and Amen’s that I expected did not happen. “Amen” was prompted several times by the preacher saying “Hallelujah”- otherwise they were nice and quiet like good Presbyterians (ha!). Following the sermon and about 30 minutes of announcements, Ben and I were formally introduced and welcomed with gifts and a dance that we ended up leading for a few minutes. After worship we were escorted to the manse where we had lunch… I wasn’t necessarily thrilled to see that it was fish (the whole thing, including the eye ball).
Later that afternoon we went to a lake about 45 minutes away. This lake was created by a meteorite and was so cloudy that the lake and sky blended so you couldn’t see the horizon. After a 15 minute boat ride, we went back to the van but ended up staying to watch and eventually participate in some tribal dances.
Now (after taking a break writing because the bus was so bumpy) we are in Ho until Friday/ Saturday and staying at the EPC headquarters. I am very excited to see the differences between EPC and PCG even though we have been reading about them. The main thing I am learning is basically what I learned in Mexico and Scotland as well- we all worship in very different ways and no one way is right or wrong as long as our focus is right. I may find some things (ex. Deliverance) unnerving, but I appreciate their understanding and desire for connection with their culture when the rest has been so westernized. Even with these aspects, I have acquired a great appreciation for what the church is doing here on the whole when it comes to worshiping in full form, reaching out to the community in ways we might not event think would be possible and making a point to always remember their roots. It amazed me at first, and now I am jealous, how much a part of day to day life their faith is. And it isn’t kept quiet! I may not agree with every part, but that is because of my culture. I do agree with the passion and love, though.
Beyond my church experiences here, something huge struck me today that made all of this ministry stuff so much more meaningful. When we were walking to the market, we passed a shoe vendor. At first this didn’t phase me because we have seen hundreds. But this time I saw Sperry’s on the pile. These are not Ghanaian shoes. I started thinking and realized a huge connection- when I was directing Summer in the City, some of the places sent items overseas. One place in particular, North Raleigh Ministries, sends clothing that they receive to W. Africa. We sorted through some of that. Now, it is very unlikely that those shoes were at NRM and that we sorted theme, but they served as a reminder of how our work at home reaches out so much further. Someone donated shoes, they were sorted and shipped, sorted again, and are now being sold for five cedi so a family might have dinner tonight.
Tuesday, January 17
There is something very calming about lying in bed and listening to a band rehearsal. I am not completely sure what is actually going on but there is a concert base drum, snare drum, and trombone and they are in a yard behind the hotel. I am trying not to geek out and find a way to get there. Actually, I can’t get there because of a wall. Either way, I am enjoying listening.
Today was much better. Parts of me are still hurting and are more than ready to go home, but I think it just boils down to needing “me time”, which I am currently getting in a better way than I planned. Not to mention today wasn’t as rushed as the last week. The people in Ho seem to be a lot more relaxed than in Accra and Kumasi.
After our tour of EPC missions this morning (see notes), we visited the Ewe Kente Cloth center. This was a much more enjoyable experience than in Kumasi since there were fewer vendors and they weren’t pushing you to buy anything.
Now, a trumpet has added (I think…) and the church choir is going. I think I am going to take a break and take a nap!
Tonight during our debriefing, Frances asked a very interesting question- how have you changed during this trip?
I think a lot has changed for me, the first being learning to let go. The funny thing is that I always think I am doing better with this and then I lose all possibility of control. The first eye opener for me this past week was seeing that the only time we stick to our schedule is for the first thing- if that. This was very hard for me being a schedule person, but as one of our hosts said today, “You (Americans) have the watch, we have the time”. Over the last week I have gotten used to this, but I still crave my schedule.
The other big thing, and probably the biggest, was finding out that Felicity was in the hospital and knowing that the only thing I could do was hand it over to God. After being home during the worst of it last year and taking care of Dad, babysitting, and driving back and forth to the hospital in Greenville to relieve Mom for a bit, this letting go was especially hard to do. Worrying doesn’t do anything but mess up my trip, praying helps her and me.
So, the number one thing I see changing is that I am trying much harder to worry less and let go, let God.
Then there are smaller things. I definitely want to be more ecologically aware (water consumption, trash, electricity). Also, I need to be more hospitable, especially when I don’t want to be. Something that I had not thought about was that both PCG and EPC are strongly against 10A, yet we have been received as members and representatives of PC(USA) with the most gracious hospitality. Nothing in the US compares to this even when there are no conflicts present. These people don’t know us except that we are PC(USA) seminarians and they dong like PC(USA) right now. There are many cases when I know more than this about people but still don’t welcome them the way that I should. Jesus was among the ones that were not welcomed, yet we worship him and ignore the others he was with. There is something very wrong with this picture. I think that what we saw today and will see tomorrow shows that the Ghanaian churches have a good grasp on how to welcome “the least of these” as they minister to children, the poor, homeless, sick, outcasts, teenage mothers, etc. I think it is past time that we take a page from their book. Yes, we have outreach and mission, but I wonder how it could be improved if we took our ulterior motives of looking good for others out of it and welcomed these people because by welcoming them, we are welcoming Jesus Christ. We also need to find the difference between “giving” and truly welcoming. We are good at giving money and canned food- maybe even a room at the church. But what would happen if the people we “gave” to showed up in the pew one Sunday- unbathed, a baby but no ring, sick… would we sit with them or just write them a check/ give them food and send them away?
Wednesday, January 18
Today has been a very moving day to say the least.
This morning we visited the Street Children Project, started by the wife of a deceased EPC pastor in 2000. Unfortunately the children were not there because they were in school (a good thing!). The whole concept of the program (see notes) is such an amazing thing and I pray that it is able to flourish.
Following this, we attended an EPC deliverance service. This was more along the lines of the healing services that I have been a part of in the past. The “jam session” in the middle of the congregation and the outdoor environment (very reminiscent of “the Point” at Camp Caroline) contributed to making it a very joyful experience, very unlike the PCG service.
This afternoon we visited a village for cured lepers. Words can’t describe the emotions that ran through me. We visited tow ladies, Victoria and Mary, both who have suffered from leperacy. Victoria had no legs or fingers and her face had been mangled by the disease. I hated more than anything in the world that I was freaked out at first and became even more thankful that they have somewhere to live so that they can have normal interaction everyday and not have to battle with people who refuse to look past the immediate. It was a very moving experience to hold hands and pray with Victoria, a reminder that we are all children of god. We then went to visit Mary who was rendered completely helpless and bed ridden three years ago. We sang a song for her before once again joining hands to pray together.
Today we were among “the least of these”, yet I felt God’s presence stronger than ever. I wish that everyone could share in the experience so that all walls could be broken down so that we can get past “give” and truly “welcome”. It kills me that the children at the Street Children Project are homeless because of poverty, abandonment, orphaned, etc. and that the single building is the closest thing they have to a home. The residents in the leper village are there because society won’t take them back, not even their families. Who will welcome them if we won’t?
Today has been incredible! More touristy than others though. First, we got to sleep early last night so I actually got 8 hours of sleep for the first time in probably two weeks. Also, we finally have running water! So we were all much happier today.
This morning we visited the Asante Chief Palace where we learned about the Asante tribe. Turns out the chief is not a blood line thing, but he is chosen if his Uncle was chief. The Queen Mother is also not married to the chief and is typically his mom or sister.
After lunch we went to the Kente Cloth Village where they weave this incredible cloth. It was very intimidating to buy because everyone bombarded you trying to get you to buy what they had and followed you until you did. We also went to the woodcarving village where it was very much the same thing.
Monday, January 16
I am taking advantage of our 7 hour bus ride to Ho (ho ho!) to write about yesterday’s experience.
The morning was spent with the 10 of us divided among 5 churches in the Asante Presbytery- Ben and I went to the church in Atonsu.
I was surprisingly very comfortable! Ben and I sat at the very front with the minister so we got to look at everyone- thankfully this wasn’t too bad since it will soon be our seat every week! For the first 30 minutes we broke into bible study groups by day name and my group talked about Matt 3: 11-17. The few things I picked up through translation from Twi were that repentance comes form John’s baptism and strength comes from Jesus’ baptism. Also that through our baptism we are able to do things better than before. I also think there may have been a prophet in the group who offered to tell us each a special message if we came to him after the service. After Bible study we came back together for worship. I was surprised by the number of traditional hymns that lacked the dance element for the most part. However there were 2-3 very upbeat and dance filled songs! The sermon was about 20 minutes and in English and Twi. I think this was the most surprising aspect because the random calling out and Amen’s that I expected did not happen. “Amen” was prompted several times by the preacher saying “Hallelujah”- otherwise they were nice and quiet like good Presbyterians (ha!). Following the sermon and about 30 minutes of announcements, Ben and I were formally introduced and welcomed with gifts and a dance that we ended up leading for a few minutes. After worship we were escorted to the manse where we had lunch… I wasn’t necessarily thrilled to see that it was fish (the whole thing, including the eye ball).
Later that afternoon we went to a lake about 45 minutes away. This lake was created by a meteorite and was so cloudy that the lake and sky blended so you couldn’t see the horizon. After a 15 minute boat ride, we went back to the van but ended up staying to watch and eventually participate in some tribal dances.
Now (after taking a break writing because the bus was so bumpy) we are in Ho until Friday/ Saturday and staying at the EPC headquarters. I am very excited to see the differences between EPC and PCG even though we have been reading about them. The main thing I am learning is basically what I learned in Mexico and Scotland as well- we all worship in very different ways and no one way is right or wrong as long as our focus is right. I may find some things (ex. Deliverance) unnerving, but I appreciate their understanding and desire for connection with their culture when the rest has been so westernized. Even with these aspects, I have acquired a great appreciation for what the church is doing here on the whole when it comes to worshiping in full form, reaching out to the community in ways we might not event think would be possible and making a point to always remember their roots. It amazed me at first, and now I am jealous, how much a part of day to day life their faith is. And it isn’t kept quiet! I may not agree with every part, but that is because of my culture. I do agree with the passion and love, though.
Beyond my church experiences here, something huge struck me today that made all of this ministry stuff so much more meaningful. When we were walking to the market, we passed a shoe vendor. At first this didn’t phase me because we have seen hundreds. But this time I saw Sperry’s on the pile. These are not Ghanaian shoes. I started thinking and realized a huge connection- when I was directing Summer in the City, some of the places sent items overseas. One place in particular, North Raleigh Ministries, sends clothing that they receive to W. Africa. We sorted through some of that. Now, it is very unlikely that those shoes were at NRM and that we sorted theme, but they served as a reminder of how our work at home reaches out so much further. Someone donated shoes, they were sorted and shipped, sorted again, and are now being sold for five cedi so a family might have dinner tonight.
Tuesday, January 17
There is something very calming about lying in bed and listening to a band rehearsal. I am not completely sure what is actually going on but there is a concert base drum, snare drum, and trombone and they are in a yard behind the hotel. I am trying not to geek out and find a way to get there. Actually, I can’t get there because of a wall. Either way, I am enjoying listening.
Today was much better. Parts of me are still hurting and are more than ready to go home, but I think it just boils down to needing “me time”, which I am currently getting in a better way than I planned. Not to mention today wasn’t as rushed as the last week. The people in Ho seem to be a lot more relaxed than in Accra and Kumasi.
After our tour of EPC missions this morning (see notes), we visited the Ewe Kente Cloth center. This was a much more enjoyable experience than in Kumasi since there were fewer vendors and they weren’t pushing you to buy anything.
Now, a trumpet has added (I think…) and the church choir is going. I think I am going to take a break and take a nap!
Tonight during our debriefing, Frances asked a very interesting question- how have you changed during this trip?
I think a lot has changed for me, the first being learning to let go. The funny thing is that I always think I am doing better with this and then I lose all possibility of control. The first eye opener for me this past week was seeing that the only time we stick to our schedule is for the first thing- if that. This was very hard for me being a schedule person, but as one of our hosts said today, “You (Americans) have the watch, we have the time”. Over the last week I have gotten used to this, but I still crave my schedule.
The other big thing, and probably the biggest, was finding out that Felicity was in the hospital and knowing that the only thing I could do was hand it over to God. After being home during the worst of it last year and taking care of Dad, babysitting, and driving back and forth to the hospital in Greenville to relieve Mom for a bit, this letting go was especially hard to do. Worrying doesn’t do anything but mess up my trip, praying helps her and me.
So, the number one thing I see changing is that I am trying much harder to worry less and let go, let God.
Then there are smaller things. I definitely want to be more ecologically aware (water consumption, trash, electricity). Also, I need to be more hospitable, especially when I don’t want to be. Something that I had not thought about was that both PCG and EPC are strongly against 10A, yet we have been received as members and representatives of PC(USA) with the most gracious hospitality. Nothing in the US compares to this even when there are no conflicts present. These people don’t know us except that we are PC(USA) seminarians and they dong like PC(USA) right now. There are many cases when I know more than this about people but still don’t welcome them the way that I should. Jesus was among the ones that were not welcomed, yet we worship him and ignore the others he was with. There is something very wrong with this picture. I think that what we saw today and will see tomorrow shows that the Ghanaian churches have a good grasp on how to welcome “the least of these” as they minister to children, the poor, homeless, sick, outcasts, teenage mothers, etc. I think it is past time that we take a page from their book. Yes, we have outreach and mission, but I wonder how it could be improved if we took our ulterior motives of looking good for others out of it and welcomed these people because by welcoming them, we are welcoming Jesus Christ. We also need to find the difference between “giving” and truly welcoming. We are good at giving money and canned food- maybe even a room at the church. But what would happen if the people we “gave” to showed up in the pew one Sunday- unbathed, a baby but no ring, sick… would we sit with them or just write them a check/ give them food and send them away?
Wednesday, January 18
Today has been a very moving day to say the least.
This morning we visited the Street Children Project, started by the wife of a deceased EPC pastor in 2000. Unfortunately the children were not there because they were in school (a good thing!). The whole concept of the program (see notes) is such an amazing thing and I pray that it is able to flourish.
Following this, we attended an EPC deliverance service. This was more along the lines of the healing services that I have been a part of in the past. The “jam session” in the middle of the congregation and the outdoor environment (very reminiscent of “the Point” at Camp Caroline) contributed to making it a very joyful experience, very unlike the PCG service.
This afternoon we visited a village for cured lepers. Words can’t describe the emotions that ran through me. We visited tow ladies, Victoria and Mary, both who have suffered from leperacy. Victoria had no legs or fingers and her face had been mangled by the disease. I hated more than anything in the world that I was freaked out at first and became even more thankful that they have somewhere to live so that they can have normal interaction everyday and not have to battle with people who refuse to look past the immediate. It was a very moving experience to hold hands and pray with Victoria, a reminder that we are all children of god. We then went to visit Mary who was rendered completely helpless and bed ridden three years ago. We sang a song for her before once again joining hands to pray together.
Today we were among “the least of these”, yet I felt God’s presence stronger than ever. I wish that everyone could share in the experience so that all walls could be broken down so that we can get past “give” and truly “welcome”. It kills me that the children at the Street Children Project are homeless because of poverty, abandonment, orphaned, etc. and that the single building is the closest thing they have to a home. The residents in the leper village are there because society won’t take them back, not even their families. Who will welcome them if we won’t?
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Journal entries from Accra (pt. 1)
For the next few days I will post my journal entries from Ghana. I will break them up based on cities, so Accra (pt 1), Kumasi, and Accra (pt 2). These are the things that I was thinking about while in Ghana and reflections on the activities, all taken directly from the journal with no edits (except taking out the personal stuff that has nothing to do with Ghana). Enjoy!
Monday, January 9
This has been a crazy day- 24 hours almost exactly since we met in front of Watts. Two months of build-up and we are finally in Accra, Ghana. The flight as about 10 hours, leaving DC at 10:48pm and arriving in Accra around 1:30pm.
After freshening up as best as we could having no running water, we went into town to exchange money and visit the tailor. I bought a gorgeous blue dress that is being altered.
Dinner was delicious- some kind of tomato sauce, potatoes, and a kind of chicken-veggie stir fry. Following that we had a Ghana orientation with the PC(USA) rep.
I’m too exhausted to continue. More tomorrow!
Tuesday, January 10
Ghana is such an amazing place! Today was our first full day and it started very early. After waking up at 12:04 am thinking it was morning, I was able to get back to sleep until a very early 4:30 am. I successfully took a bucket shower with our new friend “Quessi” the wall gecko watching over me (Quessi is the Ghanaian day name for Sunday, the day that Ghanaians say foreigners come on). We met at 5:30 am to board the bus and go to the Shai Wildlife Preserve.
The Shai Preserve is home to ostriches, baboons, and antelope (at least these are what we saw). I believe Christopher (our guide) said it is 87 sq. km of land. We got to feed baboons and take plenty of pictures before hiking to a bat cave that was once a guarded fort for a chief. We then climbed to the top of one of the mountains/ hills to get a view of the preserve. What an incredible sight! Seeing something that beautiful is explanation enough as to why Christianity is so prevalent here.
Following the preserve, we visited an artisan shop by the sea. It was unreal to look at the water and think of all that has happened there. I am definitely appreciating what little world history I remember! The artisan shop was full of hand made gifts and paintings. It was very interesting to see what aspects of life are important to the people and how they portrayed them. My favorite was a painting with a light blue background and a white cross formed from words remembering someone who had died. The words reflected on her life, one that is frowned on- no children, never married, was she a witch? I also learned that my Ghanaian day name is “Effia”, meaning born on Friday.
We then went to the heart of Accra to meet with the President of the PCG. This was a very interesting and informative meeting (see notes in previous pages).
Following this meeting we visited a market across the street. Not for me. It was insanely crowded and loud with everything selling everything. We were called “Bruni” by a few (it is hard to remember that it generally isn’t a derogatory term when it is being yelled at you). One boy grabbed my arm and tried to sell me jeans- this definitely freaked me out a bit.
Now, we are finally home for the remainder of the evening. For now, home is Trinity Theological Seminary. We are staying in their dorms which surround a very small courtyard. There seem to be other residence buildings on campus where some of the 500+ students live. I was able to visit the bookstore earlier and bought two Ghanaian Bibles- one in the Ga language (spoken in Accra) and one in a language from the north (the language of Ghana’s president).
But, we are now quickly approaching dinner time…
Wednesday, January 11
Today was a much more relaxed one. After our 7:30 am breakfast, we traveled to Akropong, just up the mountain. While in Akropong we visited the Akofi Christalla Institute and enjoyed a lecture about the history and mission of the institute (see notes). Before leaving, we visited the vice-principal of the teaching school there because he has been very sick (malaria) for 5 weeks and wanted to pray with us.
Following this visit, we traveled to see Aboa Ofei who spoke with us about deliverance. The first thing that really struck me about what he said was “we pray with the, not for them”, establishing the difference from Presby-Pentecostals and Pentecostal/ Charismatics. He also explained that deliverance can be from oppression, regression, etc. and can be called εκβαλλω (casting out), but not exorcism. Exorcism rids the body of a demon, but deliverance uses the Holy Spirit. One comforting thing to learn was that those being delivered are also being counseled and medically treated in some cases. Those who need more serious help are housed at a facility where they are immersed in a “completely Christian” environment.
Following the discussion we attended a deliverance service at Grace Presbyterian. I wasn’t as uneasy as I expected to be, but I was very skeptical of what I saw. Some people did not appear to respond when Ofei called out the demons while others would fall to the ground, shake, roll, and even scream. I would be very interested to see if studies have been done as it seemed like some even fed off of others as they were delivered. I am still very unsure and skeptical…
Tonight was the lecture with a prof. from the University of Ghana about Charismatic/ Pentecostal Christianity in Ghana (see notes). What he said was interesting but again, I am skeptical. My feeling is that things like the prosperity gospel can have some good in that it gives hope, but I feel like it also gives false hope and especially as ministers that is something we should avoid. It also sounds like it almost crosses the line of witchcraft when they are wishing and praying for ill against those standing in their way (also very unchristian). I understand they want to hold onto their history and culture, but I think there are other ways.
Now, a bit about Ghana! I love this place already. It is such a bright, joyful, live, and faithful country. The scenery is not what I expected- it seems to be a mix of a beach town in the US (mostly in home designs) and Chiapas. There are huge cement buildings that house businesses and stores, but more shops that are in temporary shacks or even flea market style. People come up to the cars selling everything from candy and drinks to masks and shoes. Ladies carry everything on their heads (even gas cans). You can’t drive 10 seconds without seeing any of this. Traffic is terrible and everyone has a no mercy/ fear attitude when driving. But through it all, people are smiling, shouting, running, selling, and living life in a very busy and spontaneous way. I am almost jealous!
Tomorrow we visit slave castles and the rain forest so I should get to bed now!
Thursday, January 12
Day 4. Wow. I don’t know where to begin.
We walked the canopy of the rainforest this morning. Such an incredible experience! Everything was so green. Sadly, no animals though. After the rainforest we stopped to see some crocodiles. Very cool, but not terribly exciting.
We then went to visit the Elmina Slave Castle. This was such a heart wrenching experience. Elmina was the Dutch castle where slaves were taken before they were put onto ships. We walked through the dungeons where 150 people would live in a tiny room. You can still smell the stench. We saw the courtyard were the ladies were brought to be picked by the governor to have sex with, and the room it happened in, and finally where the soldiers later took advantage of them. We were “locked” in two cells- one where maybe five white men would be at once for only a minute, with ventilation and windows; the second had no ventilation and no windows- 30 men would be locked in there until the last died. You can see scratch marks on the walls from their finger nails. Finally, we saw the room of no return- the last room before they were loaded onto the ships. We saw their last view of their home through the same iron gate facing the ocean, and as we looked out the tiny opening, we sang “Amazing Grace”.
Monday, January 9
This has been a crazy day- 24 hours almost exactly since we met in front of Watts. Two months of build-up and we are finally in Accra, Ghana. The flight as about 10 hours, leaving DC at 10:48pm and arriving in Accra around 1:30pm.
After freshening up as best as we could having no running water, we went into town to exchange money and visit the tailor. I bought a gorgeous blue dress that is being altered.
Dinner was delicious- some kind of tomato sauce, potatoes, and a kind of chicken-veggie stir fry. Following that we had a Ghana orientation with the PC(USA) rep.
I’m too exhausted to continue. More tomorrow!
Tuesday, January 10
Ghana is such an amazing place! Today was our first full day and it started very early. After waking up at 12:04 am thinking it was morning, I was able to get back to sleep until a very early 4:30 am. I successfully took a bucket shower with our new friend “Quessi” the wall gecko watching over me (Quessi is the Ghanaian day name for Sunday, the day that Ghanaians say foreigners come on). We met at 5:30 am to board the bus and go to the Shai Wildlife Preserve.
The Shai Preserve is home to ostriches, baboons, and antelope (at least these are what we saw). I believe Christopher (our guide) said it is 87 sq. km of land. We got to feed baboons and take plenty of pictures before hiking to a bat cave that was once a guarded fort for a chief. We then climbed to the top of one of the mountains/ hills to get a view of the preserve. What an incredible sight! Seeing something that beautiful is explanation enough as to why Christianity is so prevalent here.
Following the preserve, we visited an artisan shop by the sea. It was unreal to look at the water and think of all that has happened there. I am definitely appreciating what little world history I remember! The artisan shop was full of hand made gifts and paintings. It was very interesting to see what aspects of life are important to the people and how they portrayed them. My favorite was a painting with a light blue background and a white cross formed from words remembering someone who had died. The words reflected on her life, one that is frowned on- no children, never married, was she a witch? I also learned that my Ghanaian day name is “Effia”, meaning born on Friday.
We then went to the heart of Accra to meet with the President of the PCG. This was a very interesting and informative meeting (see notes in previous pages).
Following this meeting we visited a market across the street. Not for me. It was insanely crowded and loud with everything selling everything. We were called “Bruni” by a few (it is hard to remember that it generally isn’t a derogatory term when it is being yelled at you). One boy grabbed my arm and tried to sell me jeans- this definitely freaked me out a bit.
Now, we are finally home for the remainder of the evening. For now, home is Trinity Theological Seminary. We are staying in their dorms which surround a very small courtyard. There seem to be other residence buildings on campus where some of the 500+ students live. I was able to visit the bookstore earlier and bought two Ghanaian Bibles- one in the Ga language (spoken in Accra) and one in a language from the north (the language of Ghana’s president).
But, we are now quickly approaching dinner time…
Wednesday, January 11
Today was a much more relaxed one. After our 7:30 am breakfast, we traveled to Akropong, just up the mountain. While in Akropong we visited the Akofi Christalla Institute and enjoyed a lecture about the history and mission of the institute (see notes). Before leaving, we visited the vice-principal of the teaching school there because he has been very sick (malaria) for 5 weeks and wanted to pray with us.
Following this visit, we traveled to see Aboa Ofei who spoke with us about deliverance. The first thing that really struck me about what he said was “we pray with the, not for them”, establishing the difference from Presby-Pentecostals and Pentecostal/ Charismatics. He also explained that deliverance can be from oppression, regression, etc. and can be called εκβαλλω (casting out), but not exorcism. Exorcism rids the body of a demon, but deliverance uses the Holy Spirit. One comforting thing to learn was that those being delivered are also being counseled and medically treated in some cases. Those who need more serious help are housed at a facility where they are immersed in a “completely Christian” environment.
Following the discussion we attended a deliverance service at Grace Presbyterian. I wasn’t as uneasy as I expected to be, but I was very skeptical of what I saw. Some people did not appear to respond when Ofei called out the demons while others would fall to the ground, shake, roll, and even scream. I would be very interested to see if studies have been done as it seemed like some even fed off of others as they were delivered. I am still very unsure and skeptical…
Tonight was the lecture with a prof. from the University of Ghana about Charismatic/ Pentecostal Christianity in Ghana (see notes). What he said was interesting but again, I am skeptical. My feeling is that things like the prosperity gospel can have some good in that it gives hope, but I feel like it also gives false hope and especially as ministers that is something we should avoid. It also sounds like it almost crosses the line of witchcraft when they are wishing and praying for ill against those standing in their way (also very unchristian). I understand they want to hold onto their history and culture, but I think there are other ways.
Now, a bit about Ghana! I love this place already. It is such a bright, joyful, live, and faithful country. The scenery is not what I expected- it seems to be a mix of a beach town in the US (mostly in home designs) and Chiapas. There are huge cement buildings that house businesses and stores, but more shops that are in temporary shacks or even flea market style. People come up to the cars selling everything from candy and drinks to masks and shoes. Ladies carry everything on their heads (even gas cans). You can’t drive 10 seconds without seeing any of this. Traffic is terrible and everyone has a no mercy/ fear attitude when driving. But through it all, people are smiling, shouting, running, selling, and living life in a very busy and spontaneous way. I am almost jealous!
Tomorrow we visit slave castles and the rain forest so I should get to bed now!
Thursday, January 12
Day 4. Wow. I don’t know where to begin.
We walked the canopy of the rainforest this morning. Such an incredible experience! Everything was so green. Sadly, no animals though. After the rainforest we stopped to see some crocodiles. Very cool, but not terribly exciting.
We then went to visit the Elmina Slave Castle. This was such a heart wrenching experience. Elmina was the Dutch castle where slaves were taken before they were put onto ships. We walked through the dungeons where 150 people would live in a tiny room. You can still smell the stench. We saw the courtyard were the ladies were brought to be picked by the governor to have sex with, and the room it happened in, and finally where the soldiers later took advantage of them. We were “locked” in two cells- one where maybe five white men would be at once for only a minute, with ventilation and windows; the second had no ventilation and no windows- 30 men would be locked in there until the last died. You can see scratch marks on the walls from their finger nails. Finally, we saw the room of no return- the last room before they were loaded onto the ships. We saw their last view of their home through the same iron gate facing the ocean, and as we looked out the tiny opening, we sang “Amazing Grace”.
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