I say this from experience and with all the love in the world. We are all trying to figure things out. Maybe it is the answer to an exam question. Or what to do over break. Maybe we are trying to figure out how to make the next mortgage payment or keep the electricity on. Some of us might have feelings for someone and not know how to say it. Others might be trying to tell someone that they don’t have feelings anymore. Some are asking how to pack for a two week trip in carry on luggage. Some are wondering how they are going to get through Ords.
We are all in discernment of some kind. Personally? I am trying to discern my call to ministry. I am trying to figure out how best to approach certain people about a variety of things, both good and bad, and all can lead to excitement and relief or a night of tears. I am trying to figure out scholarships. There is too much to keep listing here. However, I have learned that nothing is made better when I assume I know what was meant by the lack of text messages or the wording of the last one, stressing about a paper already turned in, thinking that I can’t do something because someone doesn’t approve… all of that only brings me down. The responses that I have when I jump to all of the assumptions and conclusions might not be best for me. I may end up hurting someone. I need to just wait for the appropriate time, even if that time is months from now. Not necessarily a fun thing when I have already been holding it in for five months.
But you know what? When I look around I see how far I have come. Three years ago, I was completely focused on music and teaching. Two years ago, I had a stack of seminary applications on my coffee table as I debated throwing them in the trash every night and asked Santa if he could help me out with that for Christmas. One year ago, it was scholarship applications and I asked Santa for some money for school. Now, I am here and Santa asked me if I was enjoying it. It has been a long road. There has been a lot of waiting. There were times that I wasn’t sure if I could do it, but the waiting paid off. Now, I look around me and see all of the incredible ways the work paid off- the sunsets I mentioned a few posts ago, the studies, the experiences, and the most incredible friends in the world. So I told Santa that I was loving every second of it.
So yes, I may not know the words to tell my best friend. I may not know exactly what to write on this new stack of papers about my call. I don’t know how those exams are going to turn out. I only pretend to know how to pack for two weeks in Ghana in my carry on luggage. But I do know that this Christmas I have so much more than I could ever ask Santa for.
Santa didn’t just make things happen for me. He asked me what I needed to do to achieve it and if I was doing that (I miss the days as a kid when he didn’t ask such weighty questions!), just like God doesn’t hand things to you but instead gives you the tools you need and promises to stand by you. So as we finally relax and begin to enjoy Christmas and begin to think about the new year, remember to look around and be thankful for all you have been given already and don’t worry so much about the rest. It will all come in time in the way that GOD intends.
I want to leave y’all with two quotes tonight. The first is on a poster hanging in our basement at home… “Lord, grant me patience… but please hurry!”. And from my Grandmother… “God answers all prayers. Sometimes he says yes. Sometimes he says no. And sometimes he says you’ve got to be kidding!”
Merry Christmas, y’all!!
(And yes… I really did have those conversations with Santa. Funny how serious he gets with you when he knows you and your parents!)
No comments:
Post a Comment