Oh, where to start?? Well, I am still keeping my head above water in greek but sometimes I feel like that is about all I am doing. I am beginning to think that even if I keep my schedule the same (which I won't- 3/4 required core classes should be spread out, not all in one year! many thanks to my friends who explained the whole registration thing to me!), it will be easier than this summer. I absolutely love greek, however trying to cram two semesters worth into one month is stressful to say the least! However, we are halfway through at this point!!
Another great part of being up here in Richmond is that once again I have been given a great opportunity to visit churches in the area while I look for a home away from home. I seem to have settled on one (Second Presbyterian)- great minister, great people, lots going on as far as mission at home, and a great youth program (the last two being my prime focus). Today, the minister finished up a sermon series on Romans 8 and it really got me thinking about what is going on in my life and the world.
31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written:
“For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”[a]
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[b] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
This past week, in addition to the stress and struggle with greek, I took time to remember the life of two very important people- my Uncle Bob (who unfortunately I didn't really have much of an opportunity to get to know well since his family moved away when I was little, but who I still consider myself to have been close to) died a few years ago after a long battle with cancer, and one of my best friends, Hope (she died in a car accident ten years ago, only 2 days after her birthday). In addition to remembering these incredible people, but big losses, I have been reminded of the trouble that our country is in every time I turn on my tv. Every day I pray that nothing will happen with my sister that will put her back in the hospital and away from her husband and girls, meanwhile, I got a call yesterday that had me on edge for a while when I was told her neighborhood had been hit by a tornado and they weren't sure what, if anything, had happened to their house (thankfully no major damage and everyone was ok). Basically, even when you are overwhelmed with blessings in your life, there are still some crappy things that like to show their face.
I have made it a habit to read the scriptures before worship so that I can just listen and really take it in during worship. I was really excited to see this verse today because I knew Rev. Evans would take it somewhere great, and it is also a favorite of mine and a great reminder after a week like this. Even with everything that is thrown at us every single day, God is always with us and helping us and none of this can outweigh what God does for us. Even more importantly, this scripture reminds us that not only is God with us during all of these trials, but that we are conquerors of them as well. It is really hard to think about that sometimes when we feel like we are drowning in all of life's problems so this is a perfect reminder.
So, no matter what is going on in your life- looming due dates for projects, language midterms, deaths of loved ones, breakups, debt collectors, fights with friends, sickness... all of it is something that we can and will overcome with God by our side. Why? Because NOTHING can separate us from God... the scripture says so!
The only downfall to all of this? Even though God is with us and we will overcome everything, I don't think this means I can not study and overcome my midterm... so, back to work!
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
God Fearing??
All my life I have always heard a phrase that really confused me- “I’m a God fearing person”. As a child I couldn’t imagine being afraid of anything, really, except for the occasional bug or Daddy hiding in the wood’s waiting to jump out and scare us after ghost story night while camping. As I grew up I had other fears, but God wasn’t one of them. I feel like I hear it more and more now that I am paying more attention to people around me. However, I can’t say that I agree with them.
I talked to a few friends about this today, thinking that maybe I am wrong in the fact that I really do not fear God in any way. I recognize that he is incredibly powerful and can do all things, but I also know and believe that God is with me through every trial and I should not have any reason to fear him. One friend mentioned that she thought that any relationship in which you feared the other person, is an abusive relationship and that she doesn’t think God is abusive. I have never thought about it that way, but I have to agree! I also don’t think that I could ever have such an undying love for someone that I fear.
In the same discussion, another friend said that he always thought of this “fear” as really being an awe for all that God has done and can do. Once again, I really have to agree. Can’t we just appreciate and respect all that God does for us without being afraid of him?? Every day I go out and see all of the wonderful things around me, all part of God’s creation and am in awe that he would give us such incredible things when quite frankly, I’m not sure how much we deserve it. That’s the thing though… even if we may not deserve it by our standards, God loves us so much that he doesn’t really worry about that part- he loves us unconditionally and therefore gives us these incredible gifts every single day. Does that sound like someone you should fear?
No, I don’t think that I am a God-fearing woman. I am a God- loving woman who is so in love with everything God does for us every day that there is no room for fear of him in my life. Yes, there are bad parts of life. I just recently drove around Raleigh, NC and witnessed unreal amounts of tornado damage right by my brother’s house, only a mile or so from my house. I see news reports every day about floods, tornadoes, fires… but none of them give me any reason to fear God. Here is the thing that keeps me going in those times- yes, there are bad things but there are so many incredible things as well. If we did not have these bad things in life, we would not appreciate the good things as much!
To sum it all up, last night we watched the movie “Saved” with one of the best lines I have ever heard regarding the fear of God- “You have everything… what are you afraid of?”
I talked to a few friends about this today, thinking that maybe I am wrong in the fact that I really do not fear God in any way. I recognize that he is incredibly powerful and can do all things, but I also know and believe that God is with me through every trial and I should not have any reason to fear him. One friend mentioned that she thought that any relationship in which you feared the other person, is an abusive relationship and that she doesn’t think God is abusive. I have never thought about it that way, but I have to agree! I also don’t think that I could ever have such an undying love for someone that I fear.
In the same discussion, another friend said that he always thought of this “fear” as really being an awe for all that God has done and can do. Once again, I really have to agree. Can’t we just appreciate and respect all that God does for us without being afraid of him?? Every day I go out and see all of the wonderful things around me, all part of God’s creation and am in awe that he would give us such incredible things when quite frankly, I’m not sure how much we deserve it. That’s the thing though… even if we may not deserve it by our standards, God loves us so much that he doesn’t really worry about that part- he loves us unconditionally and therefore gives us these incredible gifts every single day. Does that sound like someone you should fear?
No, I don’t think that I am a God-fearing woman. I am a God- loving woman who is so in love with everything God does for us every day that there is no room for fear of him in my life. Yes, there are bad parts of life. I just recently drove around Raleigh, NC and witnessed unreal amounts of tornado damage right by my brother’s house, only a mile or so from my house. I see news reports every day about floods, tornadoes, fires… but none of them give me any reason to fear God. Here is the thing that keeps me going in those times- yes, there are bad things but there are so many incredible things as well. If we did not have these bad things in life, we would not appreciate the good things as much!
To sum it all up, last night we watched the movie “Saved” with one of the best lines I have ever heard regarding the fear of God- “You have everything… what are you afraid of?”
Monday, July 11, 2011
A change of pace...
Well, reality has set in at this point. After a great, short week of Greek I was able to go out and celebrate surviving with all of my friends. I was introduced to Sticky Rice, The Flying Squirrels, Buzz and Neds BBQ, and The Galaxy Diner all in one weekend. We laughed over stupid stuff, had deep conversations in the hallway, and walked together. It’s funny how quickly a family can form! And I do love this family : )
Like I said, though… reality is here. Monday morning brought a 5:45 am wake up to go out to the track and labyrinth before my 8:30 greek class. The morning started off great and I was ready to tackle another quiz and another lesson. Well, the quiz went well overall but then we started the new stuff. To make a long story short, my 2 hour study days from last week are definitely in the past and I am now not so happy to be welcoming in the 5 hour study days.
These are the days I prepared for, though and these are the days that will make up the next three years of my life. Is it hard? You have no idea. Already today I felt myself wanting to just stop when I couldn’t figure out a way to keep two words straight (I have around 50 at this point, not to mention conjugations, first and second declensions, and 24 forms of the word to… yes… you read that right). It isn’t so easy anymore. The quizzes aren’t easy 100s with a quarter of the points going to the lower case alphabet. But what can you expect?
Last week when I went exploring, I also did a little shopping for myself. Some of you may know that I have been on a search for a new ring after I lost a very special ring that I got in Mexico on my first mission trip (and the breaking point when I finally decided to listen to God and start pursuing ministry). I finally found the perfect ring- a small silver band with an engraved message on the outside, where I can see it every day- “If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it”. This message means so much to me on so many levels right now. These next three years are not going to come easy, but they aren’t supposed to. God doesn’t call us to do easy stuff… he calls us to stuff that is going to take work and dedication and trust in him. Right now, the challenge is greek but next semester it might be Theology or History of Christianity. The challenge isn’t always going to be classes either- I have already had the nights that I missed my friends back home, or the afternoons when it seemed like everything was falling apart. But it doesn’t matter what the challenge is, because I know that no matter what, God is with me and will bring me through each and every challenge.
So, since I was supposed to be going to bed about 30 minutes ago, I’m out… gotta get up early and hit those flash cards again!
Like I said, though… reality is here. Monday morning brought a 5:45 am wake up to go out to the track and labyrinth before my 8:30 greek class. The morning started off great and I was ready to tackle another quiz and another lesson. Well, the quiz went well overall but then we started the new stuff. To make a long story short, my 2 hour study days from last week are definitely in the past and I am now not so happy to be welcoming in the 5 hour study days.
These are the days I prepared for, though and these are the days that will make up the next three years of my life. Is it hard? You have no idea. Already today I felt myself wanting to just stop when I couldn’t figure out a way to keep two words straight (I have around 50 at this point, not to mention conjugations, first and second declensions, and 24 forms of the word to… yes… you read that right). It isn’t so easy anymore. The quizzes aren’t easy 100s with a quarter of the points going to the lower case alphabet. But what can you expect?
Last week when I went exploring, I also did a little shopping for myself. Some of you may know that I have been on a search for a new ring after I lost a very special ring that I got in Mexico on my first mission trip (and the breaking point when I finally decided to listen to God and start pursuing ministry). I finally found the perfect ring- a small silver band with an engraved message on the outside, where I can see it every day- “If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it”. This message means so much to me on so many levels right now. These next three years are not going to come easy, but they aren’t supposed to. God doesn’t call us to do easy stuff… he calls us to stuff that is going to take work and dedication and trust in him. Right now, the challenge is greek but next semester it might be Theology or History of Christianity. The challenge isn’t always going to be classes either- I have already had the nights that I missed my friends back home, or the afternoons when it seemed like everything was falling apart. But it doesn’t matter what the challenge is, because I know that no matter what, God is with me and will bring me through each and every challenge.
So, since I was supposed to be going to bed about 30 minutes ago, I’m out… gotta get up early and hit those flash cards again!
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Its all greek to me
Well, I guess this will be the first "seminary update" interjected in all these random thoughts. So, backing up past the last post...
I moved up here last Thursday with the help of Mom, Dad, and Noel. I got moved in ok and spent the rest of the weekend exploring Richmond and doing all the stuff I prob won't have much time for as the year progresses. Met a lot of 2nd and 3rd years at a cook out on Saturday, even met the mandatory Andy/Andrew that is somehow always one of my first friends wherever I go (figure that one out).
Fast forward past the awesome July 4 celebrations, crazy storms, and hours of waiting for fire works (not on July 4). Yesterday was the start of "Baby Greek". I won't lie, the first day was kinda easy. Granted, I spent a lot of time working on the alphabet before I got here, but still. Today, it wasn't so easy however I think that I finally got it down after a few hours in the library and a few more studying here in the room (at this point, I think I have spent more time in the library here than I did in all four years at UNCG...). I guess we will see how that goes tomorrow.
Other than Greek, I found a church that is pretty cool and not even a block from campus. I may do some more exploring, but you can't really beat that. It is also kinda cool cause I get to see my adviser who is on sabbatical so I'm not really missing too much with him being "gone".
I have also been invited to join the Richmond Brass and Percussion Consort which is really exciting. At least I know that every other week I will have a reason to be playing! In addition to that, I have been asked to play in Wednesday chapel in a few weeks. I'm just glad that I am getting these opportunities to keep my chops up!
Really that is about it. I do have a few job opportunities that I am looking at, all dealing with music or youth or both. Needless to say, I will post as soon as something happens.
Finally, I just want to say a huge thank you to everyone for all of your support. This is such a crazy journey, and one I never expected to be taking (and even fought for a quite a while). Your prayers, support, and messages mean the world to me! I know I came here from a weird place being a member of a church in Greensboro, but having grown up at two different churches in Raleigh. I have received so much from all three churches in so many different forms and it is such a blessing to know that you don't care where my membership is or who is technically sponsoring me on paper, because you are all playing such a major part on my papers!
I'm going to try to get another thoughtful post up this weekend when I'm not doing Greek, but I'm not making any promises. First, I need to keep working on what I said in that last one!
I hope everyone has a great weekend and stays cool! Maybe some of this Richmond rain can get down there to NC and knock out that drought.
God Bless!!
I moved up here last Thursday with the help of Mom, Dad, and Noel. I got moved in ok and spent the rest of the weekend exploring Richmond and doing all the stuff I prob won't have much time for as the year progresses. Met a lot of 2nd and 3rd years at a cook out on Saturday, even met the mandatory Andy/Andrew that is somehow always one of my first friends wherever I go (figure that one out).
Fast forward past the awesome July 4 celebrations, crazy storms, and hours of waiting for fire works (not on July 4). Yesterday was the start of "Baby Greek". I won't lie, the first day was kinda easy. Granted, I spent a lot of time working on the alphabet before I got here, but still. Today, it wasn't so easy however I think that I finally got it down after a few hours in the library and a few more studying here in the room (at this point, I think I have spent more time in the library here than I did in all four years at UNCG...). I guess we will see how that goes tomorrow.
Other than Greek, I found a church that is pretty cool and not even a block from campus. I may do some more exploring, but you can't really beat that. It is also kinda cool cause I get to see my adviser who is on sabbatical so I'm not really missing too much with him being "gone".
I have also been invited to join the Richmond Brass and Percussion Consort which is really exciting. At least I know that every other week I will have a reason to be playing! In addition to that, I have been asked to play in Wednesday chapel in a few weeks. I'm just glad that I am getting these opportunities to keep my chops up!
Really that is about it. I do have a few job opportunities that I am looking at, all dealing with music or youth or both. Needless to say, I will post as soon as something happens.
Finally, I just want to say a huge thank you to everyone for all of your support. This is such a crazy journey, and one I never expected to be taking (and even fought for a quite a while). Your prayers, support, and messages mean the world to me! I know I came here from a weird place being a member of a church in Greensboro, but having grown up at two different churches in Raleigh. I have received so much from all three churches in so many different forms and it is such a blessing to know that you don't care where my membership is or who is technically sponsoring me on paper, because you are all playing such a major part on my papers!
I'm going to try to get another thoughtful post up this weekend when I'm not doing Greek, but I'm not making any promises. First, I need to keep working on what I said in that last one!
I hope everyone has a great weekend and stays cool! Maybe some of this Richmond rain can get down there to NC and knock out that drought.
God Bless!!
Sunday, July 3, 2011
What if?
What if? It’s a question that we all ask ourselves every day, and one that has kept me awake at night for the last few days. What if I said something sooner? What if they chose differently? What if it happened this way?
Have you ever noticed how much of our lives, we live in the past? Everything goes back to what could have happened. I have recently reconnected with some really good friends of mine and all I can think about is “what if things happened differently?”. Well, you want to know the answer? I wouldn’t be where I am today. The conversations I have had with these people wouldn’t have the same impact as they have had, in fact they probably wouldn’t be happening. Maybe I never would have stopped to re-evaluate my life 2 years ago and make the decision to print out that application. Maybe I would be teaching middle school band, or maybe I would be starting grad school for trumpet in Florida or Indiana. Maybe I would be exactly where I am today, laying in bed in Richmond Hall at Union Presbyterian Seminary.
That’s the thing about these “what ifs”… we don’t know how it would have been. We can imagine life another way all day long, but really have you ever been happy with what you imagined? I think we miss the important key all too often, and that is that God gave us these moments- hard, easy, fun, and sad- because they are a key part in shaping who we are. It doesn’t matter what would have happened if they didn’t leave, or if you were able to help them the way you wanted, or if you said something sooner. What matters is that whatever happened, led you to where you are today, and today is a gift from God.
I am starting a part of life where there are lots of questions. I am quickly learning that as much as I loved and/ or hated things in my past, I need to just thank God for them and move on. It does you no good to keep wondering how life could have been, but it does a world of good to make life what you want right now. Rather than asking the “what ifs”, ask “what now” and go out and enjoy life! There will always be 1,000 different ways for something to happen, but the most important way is the way it does happen and that’s all that matters. We can change the outcome today, but only if we put our eyes on the present and future rather than the past.
What if my life were different up til now? I may not be in Richmond, making friends with some awesome people (go figure mostly guys again… some things never change!), and getting ready to start the most incredible journey of my life. And you know what? That’s just not ok with me.
Thank God for the past, hope for the future, and opportunity of today!
Have you ever noticed how much of our lives, we live in the past? Everything goes back to what could have happened. I have recently reconnected with some really good friends of mine and all I can think about is “what if things happened differently?”. Well, you want to know the answer? I wouldn’t be where I am today. The conversations I have had with these people wouldn’t have the same impact as they have had, in fact they probably wouldn’t be happening. Maybe I never would have stopped to re-evaluate my life 2 years ago and make the decision to print out that application. Maybe I would be teaching middle school band, or maybe I would be starting grad school for trumpet in Florida or Indiana. Maybe I would be exactly where I am today, laying in bed in Richmond Hall at Union Presbyterian Seminary.
That’s the thing about these “what ifs”… we don’t know how it would have been. We can imagine life another way all day long, but really have you ever been happy with what you imagined? I think we miss the important key all too often, and that is that God gave us these moments- hard, easy, fun, and sad- because they are a key part in shaping who we are. It doesn’t matter what would have happened if they didn’t leave, or if you were able to help them the way you wanted, or if you said something sooner. What matters is that whatever happened, led you to where you are today, and today is a gift from God.
I am starting a part of life where there are lots of questions. I am quickly learning that as much as I loved and/ or hated things in my past, I need to just thank God for them and move on. It does you no good to keep wondering how life could have been, but it does a world of good to make life what you want right now. Rather than asking the “what ifs”, ask “what now” and go out and enjoy life! There will always be 1,000 different ways for something to happen, but the most important way is the way it does happen and that’s all that matters. We can change the outcome today, but only if we put our eyes on the present and future rather than the past.
What if my life were different up til now? I may not be in Richmond, making friends with some awesome people (go figure mostly guys again… some things never change!), and getting ready to start the most incredible journey of my life. And you know what? That’s just not ok with me.
Thank God for the past, hope for the future, and opportunity of today!
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