Friday, April 30, 2010

Just want to say, I am the happiest girl alive :)

Monday, April 26, 2010

The end of an era...

Tomorrow is it. My last concert after 11 years of concerts. 50 total (not including marching band and random jazz things).

Back in August, I was counting down to this. I would have paid someone to take my spot in Wind Ensemble and dreaded walking into 111 every day. But now, I am actually really pretty sad about it.

The last few months I feel like I have really found a niche. I finally accepted that I am 22 and not 30 and that I have some pretty incredible people around me. Hope, Malik, Bobby and I started hanging out more which of course in turn made Wind Ensemble more bearable since Bobby sits right behind me. I think it is safe to say that I have started looking forward to rehearsals since it is built in time with them.

I have had so many opportunities while playing in the Wind Ensemble, and the great thing is that none of it depended on what chair I was. I played at NCMEA, went on a tour across the south eastern US (9 concerts, 7 cities), recorded on two different cds, and am even up for a Grammy nomination for the first cd (ok, so the whole ensemble is, but still). I have played under some incredible conductors, premiered huge works, and met some incredible composers. I have even played for sold out concerts, dressed in a Sousa uniform in Aycock Auditorium. My only regret? That I never got to play a solo in Aycock (my only Wind Ensemble solo was in Dana Auditorium at Guilford College).

So, tomorrow is it. I'm not playing any huge parts or any solos, I am actually doubled on everything. I will be sitting at the end of the section. BUT, I will be completing 3 years of playing with the UNCG Wind Ensemble, a group that I used to only dream of playing with, and I will be closing out 11 years of concerts.

Next stop, student teaching!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Make a JOYFUL noise...

One of my friends recently posted something Facebook about how the ever-growing decline in traditional music in the church is driving people away from church and that we need to keep traditional music going. I agree in a way. BUT, then people started talking about how contemporary music is only for untrained musicians and ignorant people (and even further that they don't belong in the church... I'll touch on that one in another post), those that can only play three chords. Someone even said that we shouldn't mix "the sacred with the profane". Hmm...

Here is my view/ how I responded (surprise, surprise!)-

"I am a member of the PC(USA) denomination and preparing to go to seminary. In my discussions with leaders of my own church, leaders at the seminary, and the denomination as a whole I have learned that church music is one of the biggest things they are facing in trying to make our church a 21st century church.

YES, the music that you are saying is leaving the church is traditional and a very important part of the church. Many people have grown to love it over the years and expect that every Sunday, they will not only sing, but hear this type of music. HOWEVER.....

There are those that may not appreciate this type of music as much. Surprisingly, this is actually a very large number. So in an attempt to make it a 21st century church, this has to be taken into account. I am not, by any means, saying that the "traditional" music should be thrown out the window, but it is also important to note that if there is no "contemporary" music, we will also lose those people.

Many churches have taken the approach of a mixed service, with both traditional and contemporary, or even going to the extent of having a fully contemporary service. This is very appealing to the younger generations because contemporary music is something that have come to know through church camp and the radio. It is important that we appeal to those members of the congregation as well, even if they are younger, because they are the FUTURE of our church."

I think that is a good summary of how I feel about traditional vs. contemporary. Now onto the other points that were made-

The church is not necessarily a place for professional musicians. Yes, they add quality to the music, but I don't necessarily see that this is a necessity (please keep in mind that I am a PAID guest musician at many churches and this is a major portion of my income). Psalm 100 says to make a JOYFUL noise unto the Lord. Not a PROFESSIONAL or BEAUTIFUL noise. This means that even if the singing or playing is one of the worst things we have ever heard, if it for the Lord, then it belongs in the church. This is one reason I am taking a music focus in YOUTH ministry- not PROFESSIONAL MUSICIANS ministry. 6th graders are not great musicians by any means, except that they are trying and putting all that they have into what they are doing. If they can't play a C major scale exactly right, but they can honk out one or two notes in the hymn, I want them to be able to play in church if they want to. I am wrong for doing this? Some might say yes, but they aren't the ones the music is being played for.

SO... going with that, this profane music (contemporary music) may not sound great to some, but it is people lifting up their voices and making a JOYFUL noise to the Lord. Just because you sing/ play contemporary music does not make you any less of a musician than if you are playing Bach on the organ.

Basically, I think that any music as long as it is for the LORD, belongs in the church. It may not appeal to everyone, but it will appeal to some. Shouldn't we be trying to reach everyone rather than one single group of people?

And as I said at the end of my comment on facebook... "I could keep going, but I have a paper to do. I am glad to see that so many people have an opinion though! Maybe it is something you could share with your church since this is a big problem in all denominations right now. They want input! Especially from young adults who are about to take over leadership roles in the church."

Now... go out and make a JOYFUL noise be it traditional, contemporary, or something we haven't even categorized yet!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Thoughts from tonight- some from the discussion, some from personal life (they crept in somehow)...

1) I have never really thought about hell. I don't live my life making sure I don't go to hell. I know God loves me and understands that sometimes I may just screw up. Doesn't mean I am going to use that as an excuse to do stupid stuff, just means that I know that even if I do screw up, I am not going to hell. There are other things in life to worry about.

2) I would rather live my life like a billboard have people want to ask me why I do the things I do, rather than hand out fliers trying to save someone.

3) I am not going to push anymore. Maybe this was part of the "God brings people in your life for a reason- some are here for a little bit, others stay around." The whole thing helped me when I needed it most, and I am happy for that. But at this point, I am not going to continue to try to keep it if I am the only one trying.

4) I am gonna try to cut my alcohol consumption for many reasons. The first being my wallet, the second my weight. Other reasons are in play, but those are the main ones.

5) You can't go back to where you were, but you start fresh and try again. This doesn't mean you start back at best friends right away... you have to work your way to that.

When does it start?

I am confirmed to begin a M. Div in Fall 2011. That is a little over a year from now. So when does my ministry start?

Here is a cliche answer: It has been going all my life.

But is that really so cliche? Theoretically, this should be the case. It is also something that we forget all too often. That hit me the other night.

I was crashing after a really long day and really just wanted to spend my evening talking to my friend and watching the basketball game. I really did not want to solve anyone else's problems. This is the reason I pretty much ignored everyone that night. But then someone started getting persistent. AIM, Facebook, phone call... I would be lying if I said I wasn't incredibly annoyed.

Then a text came in. "Do you have time to talk? I feel like I really need to talk to someone." Really?? At midnight? Couldn't it wait til... never? I did ignore the text for a few minutes, figuring I would reply in the morning and by then everything would be cool anyway. But then I started thinking...

What kind of ministry am I doing if I ignore people when they come to me and need help? I am sure Kathryn and John get plenty of those calls, and I am sure all they want to do is roll over and ignore them. But when it comes down to it, they answer.

Jesus probably didn't want to do all that he did. I am sure there were times he would lay in bed and ask God if he was serious about the plans for the next day, or even for that moment. Jesus was human after all. BUT, he went out and did it. He was there for the people, even if he would rather be fishing and alone for once.

I kept trying to ignore it, but it was nagging at me and I couldn't get to sleep. The argument of "I'm not on leadership team anymore" wasn't cutting it... I knew that really didn't matter. So I replied. As I expected, it led to a night of texts and a meeting. It may have put me out a few minutes of solitude, but it helped them.

I think that is what ministry is about, and you don't have to go to some fancy school to get a degree in order to do it. Sometimes, that phone will ring and you will want to ignore it but sometimes you can't. I think the key thing to remember is that this is such a minor sacrifice compared to others that you could be making. And you never know what you are doing for the person on the other end.

I am not saying you always have to pay attention to everyone, but it is important to take notice of when it isn't someone just wanting to say "Hi". This isn't just the phone though... it is all the time.

So, be a minister today and reach out to those that may need an encouraging word or two, even if it takes away a few minutes of your sleep.

**********

On the same line of when does my ministry start, I found out today that I am now considered part of the St. Paul's Triumvirate. Basically, we are three members (well, two since I transferred membership to Starmount) who are Seminarians. Rob is finishing up at Vanderbilt, Amanda just finished at Louisville (will be ordained in May), and I will be starting at Union. This is really exciting for me since I thought they were pretty upset since I am going the Presby route now (St. Paul's is Disciples of Christ). But even though I am no longer a member, and I am not going to a DOC seminary, they have taken me under their wings. It is really a great feeling to know I still have support on that end.

This of course means that I will be going to Raleigh more. Amanda has asked me to participate in her ordination (probably scripture and communion), and they have started whispering about having me do a sermon every now and then. I reminded them that I won't even start seminary until 2011 but they don't care. Kind of exciting :) So I guess that is another answer to the "when do I start" question.

The only sad thing is that Amanda will be ordained and Rob isn't too far behind (I think next spring) so once I really do start, I will be the only one and splitting my NC time between St. Paul's and Starmount (as it probably should be, except that I would much rather spend as much time as I can at Starmount).

Lot's to think about! I guess this blog will really help as I have to start throwing sermon ideas around.

I will probably update again tonight/ tomorrow since we have Guinness tonight.

Until then, God bless! And go start your ministry TODAY! :)

Monday, April 5, 2010

Renewing Friendships

Things are slowly getting better with Ben.

Mike is back in town, and not going back on the boat.

I love my trumpet.


I feel like I am slowly getting back to my old self :) I kinda missed this...

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Holy Week

I hate that I haven't been able to do this sooner, however my week has been a bit insane. More on that later, maybe.

So, just in case you haven't quite figured it out in talking to me or reading this blog, I am a Christian through and through. This week has been a big one in Christianity- it's Holy Week. This is the week when we remember the last days of Jesus Christ, and all that he did to save us.

The week starts out with Palm Sunday. My favorite depiction of Palm Sunday has to be a drawing that my younger sister did this year. It shows Jesus coming into town on the donkey, but unlike most depictions, it is a real party. Jesus is throwing candy and mardi gras beads (you would have to understand my sister to really appreciate that), children are racing to the street, and everyone around him is exuberant (and of course one person is playing trumpet...). I think this is my favorite because it shows that Jesus wasn't necessarily there to take over power and intimidate like many other rulers would have done. Jesus was there for and with the people. He didn't come in on a white stallion and wearing a suit of armor, he came in on a donkey and his everyday robes. He came in knowing what was getting ready to happen to him, but he came in anyway. How incredible is that?

So, after a few more adventures in the wonderful world of Jerusalem (that are not unimportant at all, but I am focusing on the key days), we arrive at Maundy Thursday. This is when Jesus and his Disciples gathered in the upper room and took part in the very first communion (I will limit comments about this, but for my view check out my communion blog). This is also the time when rather than having his feet washed, Jesus washes his Disciples feet. When one of the Disciples questions this, Jesus tells him and the others to do this even after he is gone- to go out and wash the feet of others. Kind of a gross, but humbling thought if you ask me. I am not a fan of feet, but it is an experience to wash someone else's feet (we did it in PCM a few weeks ago). I think the point here is not to literally "wash feet" though- I think it is to go out and SERVE others in whatever capacity.

After dinner and the feet washing, Jesus and the 12 go to the garden to pray. This is when Jesus was betrayed by the same man who questioned him earlier. Jesus was betrayed by a kiss. BUT if you ask me, I think we shouldn't hate this man. Hold on before you run away... in bible study a few weeks ago, we were talking about this situation and it was mentioned that in order for all of this to happen, Jesus needed to be betrayed. Judas had no control over this. Being the betrayer was what he was called to do, even if it was a really crappy job. Now, if he had some control over the matter, I would really kind of hate him. But because of his betrayal, the rest of the week was able to take place (no matter how sad it may be).

Following the betrayal, Jesus was put before the judges and after a long night of questioning, hung on a cross to die (Good Friday)

The thing here is that he KNEW what was going to happen. He KNEW that he was losing his life for a bunch of sinners, most of who were not even alive yet. But he still did it. This goes way beyond anything we could ever think of or even begin to understand. What an absolutely INCREDIBLE and AWESOME sacrifice. But, what an incredibly devastating one.

Three days go by. Jesus has been buried in a tomb and the people of Jerusalem are weeping. The ladies go to the tomb and the stone has been rolled away. Jesus Christ has risen! And thus, we have Easter. (If I had more time I would go into more detail here...)

What an absolutely incredible week. This is the week that the Christian faith is based on. The hard thing about it for me is that I can go through the stories and reflections of the week, but when I get to Jesus making this HUGE sacrifice, I think about all of the fighting that I do when I don't want to do something.

For those of you who don't know, I will be starting at Union Presbyterian Seminary in Fall 2011. Making the decision to follow this call was one of the hardest things I have done. I have spent a lot of time fighting it (why go for another degree when I will have 2 perfectly good ones?). Why am I fighting what is such a simple call compared to the one that Jesus Christ had or even Judas? It really puts a lot of things into perspective when you look at the sacrifices and incredibly hard calls that were made and followed throughout holy week.

SO... I hope that everyone will take some time today (in the time of Tenebrae), to reflect on the last days of Jesus Christ, and even your life.

And hey, it may be really sad right now, but as my pastor said last night... "I got a really good feeling about Sunday!"

off to rehearsal.