Happiness. It is the key to a good life. But how do we get there???
Recent discussions with Bobby and at Guinness have kept me thinking about this. It is also something that I finally feel like I have a good grasp on and begin to talk about it personally.
Happiness is very different for everyone. For some people, happiness is being able to go to an amusement park and ride roller coasters all day, or spend lots of money, or stay curled up in bed with your dog. Happiness can be spending time with your loved ones, or staying as far away from them as possible. I think one central thing to everyone’s happiness, is that they keep God at the center of it.
Every time that I find myself stressed out beyond control, upset about the little things, and just plain miserable, I realize that I have taken my focus off of the most important aspect of my life- my faith. I have probably gotten “too busy” to take time to say a short prayer, even if it is “Hey God. Thanks!” and instead of opening my Bible for a quick second, I just threw it into the backseat to get it out of the way. As soon as I stop to say a prayer, “God, help me please” I begin to feel stress and misery melt away. My focus has been put on the very central and most important part of my life once again. I then do everything I can to keep going to God and life becomes controllable again, because at that point I know that I am not the one in control but HE is.
I think this is one reason that things have been so great with Bobby. We both make a point to keep God at the very center of our relationship. Our faiths, even though they are slightly different, are not something that we keep quiet and we discuss it regularly. I have also noticed that my relationship with my parents got that much stronger when I began openly talking to them about my faith as I grew up. I have always talked to them about it, but it was different when I began coming into my own beliefs and figuring out my life.
So… key #1 to happiness?? Keep God at the very center of everything. I talk about this all the time on here, but that is because I think it is the most important thing that a person can do for themselves. Now, I am not saying that saying “God, please help me” is going to solve all of life’s problems because he isn’t going to hand you the answers on a silver platter, but if you take that first step and begin working in that way, you will be on the right path.
My step #2? Live your life for YOU in addition to keeping God at the center. You are the first person that you need to take care of because if you are not taken care of, how can you take care of someone else? It took me 21 years to learn this. Last year I finally came to my senses when I realized I was living my life in accordance with what one guy thought. The worst part was he wasn’t even a guy that cared! When I was on my way home after a long day, I broke down and realized that I was falling apart because I never thought about myself and I was always trying to make everyone else happy. That day, I let it all go and began living for ME. That led me to finally getting those seminary applications mailed, realizing that it was ok to talk to leave music and forget what others thought, and I even started dating Bobby (best decision I have ever made for myself!). Now? I am happier than I have ever been. Sure, my family has their comments about obvious parts of my life, but that leads into part two of step #2.
IF THEY LOVE YOU, THEY WILL WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY. People will understand that you need to live for YOU and if they really love you, they will want you to be happy. Sometimes people won’t agree with you (ok… all the time), but that is their own problem. If you are truly happy, then go for it!! They will get over it in time.
Keep these in your mind. Find your happiness. Never let go of God. If you do lose focus on God at some point, it’s ok. He loves you and will never lose focus on you or leave you. Just say a quick prayer, and keep smiling!
Friday, November 5, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Standards
I think its interesting what we tend to do to ourselves when something good happens. Everyone has their own standards for themselves... but what is more interesting is our reactions when we don't meet those standards. Here is my own example- I did really well on my first student teaching observation and felt great about everything, but yesterday when I still did well, I didn't do as well. I was annoyed, ticked off, angry, and just plain upset. The thing is, I still did really well and my grade really isn't affected at all, but it was the fact that I didn't meet my own standard.
We are all so hard on ourselves about everything. We feel that we have to be perfect to make others happy, and if we aren't perfect than we aren't happy for ourselves. Here is what I remembered last night though when I finally let go of the anger and tried to figure out exactly why I was so upset...
WE set the standards for ourselves. NOT God and NOT Jesus. They love us no matter what with an unconditional love that a B instead of an A can't change. They only want us to be happy and to live for them, but WE are the ones that put all of the roadblocks in the way that keep us from being happy. We surround ourselves with the people that will put pressure on us to always meet the standards, or will set them for us, when we should surround ourselves with the people who love us exactly as we are and don't need us to meet some standard for that love to stay constant.
I was telling myself that I just wanted to know that I did my absolute best and that I could really do this teaching thing, that I wasn't "leaving" it because I wasn't good but because I really felt called to something else. Here is the thing though- I do my absolute best every single day and I know that I can teach well. I DO feel called to a ministry that DOES incorporate teaching so I am not running away at all, but rather putting a new spin on it. Even better, I know that NO MATTER WHAT, I am loved unconditionally by the one who matters most.
Just an early morning thought... now go out and have a great day, and don't worry if not everything goes your way!
We are all so hard on ourselves about everything. We feel that we have to be perfect to make others happy, and if we aren't perfect than we aren't happy for ourselves. Here is what I remembered last night though when I finally let go of the anger and tried to figure out exactly why I was so upset...
WE set the standards for ourselves. NOT God and NOT Jesus. They love us no matter what with an unconditional love that a B instead of an A can't change. They only want us to be happy and to live for them, but WE are the ones that put all of the roadblocks in the way that keep us from being happy. We surround ourselves with the people that will put pressure on us to always meet the standards, or will set them for us, when we should surround ourselves with the people who love us exactly as we are and don't need us to meet some standard for that love to stay constant.
I was telling myself that I just wanted to know that I did my absolute best and that I could really do this teaching thing, that I wasn't "leaving" it because I wasn't good but because I really felt called to something else. Here is the thing though- I do my absolute best every single day and I know that I can teach well. I DO feel called to a ministry that DOES incorporate teaching so I am not running away at all, but rather putting a new spin on it. Even better, I know that NO MATTER WHAT, I am loved unconditionally by the one who matters most.
Just an early morning thought... now go out and have a great day, and don't worry if not everything goes your way!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Almost there...
My cap and gown (while still in plastic) are hanging in my closet.
My taskstream portfolio is almost complete.
The apartment is gradually emptying as I throw out the trash I have accumulated over the last year and a half.
My room in Raleigh is almost ready.
We are well on our way in the cleaning process of concert music.
I have gone before and been endorsed by session to begin the inquirer process.
It is finally that time, after 22 years of waiting. I am less than two months away from graduation. So what is next? Who knows. I have put in applications for substitute teaching, I have thought about just teaching lessons, and I have thought about just taking it easy for a few months. Either way, I am finally almost out of here.
It is crazy to see this chapter of my life come to a close in what seems like a whirlwind at this point. I keep finding myself think back to freshman year when I was able to stay up til 3am and wake up at 6am and my concerns revolved around boys and finding a practice room. Now, I go to bed at 10pm at the latest and my concerns are finishing taskstream and writing papers between completing lesson plans and figuring out how to fix my student's problems. Now, it does help that I do have an incredible boyfriend so the whole "boys" concern has disappeared... but it still wouldn't be a focus at this point. It is scary how your priorities change over 4 years in college.
The only thing I do know about what is next is that it will be awesome. I have 6 months between graduation from UNCG and starting class at Union PS to do "whatever" I want. I have 6 months to get life in order before I take a 180-turn and begin seminary after completing two music degrees. I have 6 months to focus on my personal devotions, searches, and discernment before I go back to doing the studying and reading for someone else. Why do I have the feeling that those 6 months will be life changing?? Other than the not so exciting fact of moving back to live with my parents (I love that I will be close to my family, but I am 22 and don't want to be watched all the time).
Lots to think about and get excited about, but also lots to keep a focus on for now. One thing is for sure... 4 1/2 years of work are all wrapping up before my eyes.
My taskstream portfolio is almost complete.
The apartment is gradually emptying as I throw out the trash I have accumulated over the last year and a half.
My room in Raleigh is almost ready.
We are well on our way in the cleaning process of concert music.
I have gone before and been endorsed by session to begin the inquirer process.
It is finally that time, after 22 years of waiting. I am less than two months away from graduation. So what is next? Who knows. I have put in applications for substitute teaching, I have thought about just teaching lessons, and I have thought about just taking it easy for a few months. Either way, I am finally almost out of here.
It is crazy to see this chapter of my life come to a close in what seems like a whirlwind at this point. I keep finding myself think back to freshman year when I was able to stay up til 3am and wake up at 6am and my concerns revolved around boys and finding a practice room. Now, I go to bed at 10pm at the latest and my concerns are finishing taskstream and writing papers between completing lesson plans and figuring out how to fix my student's problems. Now, it does help that I do have an incredible boyfriend so the whole "boys" concern has disappeared... but it still wouldn't be a focus at this point. It is scary how your priorities change over 4 years in college.
The only thing I do know about what is next is that it will be awesome. I have 6 months between graduation from UNCG and starting class at Union PS to do "whatever" I want. I have 6 months to get life in order before I take a 180-turn and begin seminary after completing two music degrees. I have 6 months to focus on my personal devotions, searches, and discernment before I go back to doing the studying and reading for someone else. Why do I have the feeling that those 6 months will be life changing?? Other than the not so exciting fact of moving back to live with my parents (I love that I will be close to my family, but I am 22 and don't want to be watched all the time).
Lots to think about and get excited about, but also lots to keep a focus on for now. One thing is for sure... 4 1/2 years of work are all wrapping up before my eyes.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
The future of our church...
Teenagers and church- this is something I have always been interested in, hence the whole family ministry thing. Recently, my pastor did a sermon that addressed some scare statistics regarding this topic...
More than 1/2 of teens that claim Christianity actually practice it.
Of those that are Christians, lots have a "watered down" faith that looks at God as more of a psychiatrist.
Most teenagers can't talk coherently about their faith.
My question is this- WHY???
When I was in middle school and high school I never thought of NOT going to church unless there was an extreme circumstance. This is both good and bad though because we don't want our children to feel like they HAVE to be at church, but rather they should WANT to be at church. I always looked forward to spending my Sunday's at church and lived for the retreats. Was I the odd one out or have things drastically changed?
Unfortunately I think it is the later. I remember all of the kids rushing to call the one missing person so Sunday School would be complete, or competing to see what church could bring more youth to a retreat. Now it is like pulling teeth to get them to show up for food on Sunday morning, but why?
We are fighting video games, the internet, and even worse... the "cool factor". You can include the games and internet in discussion... I do all the time, but what about that "cool factor"?
It used to be completely ok to wear a cross necklace or WWJD bracelet but dress codes are limiting to one piece of jewelry... so they choose the silly bands. We loved talking about youth group and comparing what we did every week. After working in public schools for internships and now student teaching, I rarely see or hear anything regarding faith, and when I do it is kept very quiet and is usually from a parent. Even my Sunday School students admit that they rarely talk about their beliefs at school.
Is it the church chasing them away or is it society? I think it is both. Society is changing but the church isn't with it. The church is so afraid of changing that we are losing our future as the teenagers run in the other direction. But how do we keep them? I have offered breakfast, facebook, treats, video games, movies... but I have realized it isn't about what we give them, but what we let them give the church.
Teenagers are excited, full of energy and ideas- ideas that could really give the church as a whole, a new face. Too many times we dismiss these ideas because the teenagers are "too young" or "don't understand". However if we take time to LISTEN to them rather than talk AT them, we would learn differently. There are new ideas floating around teenagers today and they might surprise us.
As humans we have a need to be needed. NEWSFLASH: Teenagers are humans as well. So ask them what they would like to do. Don't just have the act as elders because you need youth representatives, but let them know that their opinions are valued. If they feel needed, chances are they will come back, and may even bring a friend to see what are doing, leading to a chain reaction of teenage involvement and EXCITEMENT!
Listen... don't just talk.
More than 1/2 of teens that claim Christianity actually practice it.
Of those that are Christians, lots have a "watered down" faith that looks at God as more of a psychiatrist.
Most teenagers can't talk coherently about their faith.
My question is this- WHY???
When I was in middle school and high school I never thought of NOT going to church unless there was an extreme circumstance. This is both good and bad though because we don't want our children to feel like they HAVE to be at church, but rather they should WANT to be at church. I always looked forward to spending my Sunday's at church and lived for the retreats. Was I the odd one out or have things drastically changed?
Unfortunately I think it is the later. I remember all of the kids rushing to call the one missing person so Sunday School would be complete, or competing to see what church could bring more youth to a retreat. Now it is like pulling teeth to get them to show up for food on Sunday morning, but why?
We are fighting video games, the internet, and even worse... the "cool factor". You can include the games and internet in discussion... I do all the time, but what about that "cool factor"?
It used to be completely ok to wear a cross necklace or WWJD bracelet but dress codes are limiting to one piece of jewelry... so they choose the silly bands. We loved talking about youth group and comparing what we did every week. After working in public schools for internships and now student teaching, I rarely see or hear anything regarding faith, and when I do it is kept very quiet and is usually from a parent. Even my Sunday School students admit that they rarely talk about their beliefs at school.
Is it the church chasing them away or is it society? I think it is both. Society is changing but the church isn't with it. The church is so afraid of changing that we are losing our future as the teenagers run in the other direction. But how do we keep them? I have offered breakfast, facebook, treats, video games, movies... but I have realized it isn't about what we give them, but what we let them give the church.
Teenagers are excited, full of energy and ideas- ideas that could really give the church as a whole, a new face. Too many times we dismiss these ideas because the teenagers are "too young" or "don't understand". However if we take time to LISTEN to them rather than talk AT them, we would learn differently. There are new ideas floating around teenagers today and they might surprise us.
As humans we have a need to be needed. NEWSFLASH: Teenagers are humans as well. So ask them what they would like to do. Don't just have the act as elders because you need youth representatives, but let them know that their opinions are valued. If they feel needed, chances are they will come back, and may even bring a friend to see what are doing, leading to a chain reaction of teenage involvement and EXCITEMENT!
Listen... don't just talk.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
What If Jesus Meant All That Stuff?
Everything I have said in my past posts, everything I could hope to say in future posts. I have a huge amount of respect for Shane Claiborne and what he does with his life. I could never do something to that extreme, but he has had an influence on my life and made me live just a bit more extreme than I used to.
Everyone- please read this. Think about it. Maybe see what you can do to try to change this image, or look past this image that Christians so often give, and look at the true foundation of the religion... Jesus Christ.
What If Jesus Meant All That Stuff?
Everyone- please read this. Think about it. Maybe see what you can do to try to change this image, or look past this image that Christians so often give, and look at the true foundation of the religion... Jesus Christ.
What If Jesus Meant All That Stuff?
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
No overthinking tonight
So this post isn't some over-thought question or soap box. Tonight, I am going to take one last moment to have an ego before I crush it and get focused again.
Two weeks ago I started down the last leg of my undergrad journey- student teaching. I was just a little scared and nervous and not at all sure what to expect. Sure, my friends have student taught, and I have even heard the discussion on the teacher end since Andrew had a student teacher last year, but I still had no idea what to expect. But thankfully I was welcomed in right away by an incredible teacher and pretty alright kids.
The last two weeks have really opened my eyes to what I am leaving behind by moving to Richmond, but also made me a little more sure of it. I am not gonna lie, I have come home some days wondering what it would be like to drop all paperwork, make one quick phone call, and begin the job search but then I start to think about how I would feel doing this every day for the rest of my life compared to going into ministry. I partially blame my OSTE for even putting the idea in my head to actually teach (even if only for a few years).
Note: This is when my ego explodes for a minute. I apologize in advance.
Basically, I seem to be doing pretty alright with my student teaching. My OSTE has had me teaching full classes since day 3 of school and has had nothing but good things to say. The kids have responded well and respect me as a real teacher, not some college student coming in to teach for a semester. All classes are making progress and sound great. Ok... I have learned to be excited about all of this and let it go, but tonight was the cherry on the cake. Tonight was our first Band Boosters meeting of the year so of course I was introduced again... and the introduction went like this...
"I am incredibly excited to have Ms. Buck as my student intern. She is a student at UNCG and will graduate with not one, but two music degrees in December. I always say student teaching is more of a formality and it couldn't be more true with her. She has been ready for a job since day 1 and is teaching the students more than I am at this point..."
Yea. I was just a little blown away and EXCITED to hear that, especially since my first observation will be this Friday afternoon. I know that I am going to have some band moments and I am as prepared as I can be for them thanks to my OSTE, but it does help to hear that you are doing well from the very start :D
Ok. Ego moment over. Time to end this and get some lesson plans done. That bad moment? Yea, fully expecting that tomorrow when I do my first beginning woodwinds lesson.
Two weeks ago I started down the last leg of my undergrad journey- student teaching. I was just a little scared and nervous and not at all sure what to expect. Sure, my friends have student taught, and I have even heard the discussion on the teacher end since Andrew had a student teacher last year, but I still had no idea what to expect. But thankfully I was welcomed in right away by an incredible teacher and pretty alright kids.
The last two weeks have really opened my eyes to what I am leaving behind by moving to Richmond, but also made me a little more sure of it. I am not gonna lie, I have come home some days wondering what it would be like to drop all paperwork, make one quick phone call, and begin the job search but then I start to think about how I would feel doing this every day for the rest of my life compared to going into ministry. I partially blame my OSTE for even putting the idea in my head to actually teach (even if only for a few years).
Note: This is when my ego explodes for a minute. I apologize in advance.
Basically, I seem to be doing pretty alright with my student teaching. My OSTE has had me teaching full classes since day 3 of school and has had nothing but good things to say. The kids have responded well and respect me as a real teacher, not some college student coming in to teach for a semester. All classes are making progress and sound great. Ok... I have learned to be excited about all of this and let it go, but tonight was the cherry on the cake. Tonight was our first Band Boosters meeting of the year so of course I was introduced again... and the introduction went like this...
"I am incredibly excited to have Ms. Buck as my student intern. She is a student at UNCG and will graduate with not one, but two music degrees in December. I always say student teaching is more of a formality and it couldn't be more true with her. She has been ready for a job since day 1 and is teaching the students more than I am at this point..."
Yea. I was just a little blown away and EXCITED to hear that, especially since my first observation will be this Friday afternoon. I know that I am going to have some band moments and I am as prepared as I can be for them thanks to my OSTE, but it does help to hear that you are doing well from the very start :D
Ok. Ego moment over. Time to end this and get some lesson plans done. That bad moment? Yea, fully expecting that tomorrow when I do my first beginning woodwinds lesson.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Hearing God's "Still small voice"... Would love feedback!
Tonight I finally got to return one of my favorite, and most important parts of the month- Guinness and the Good News. For those of you not familiar with it, this is a "bible study" (I use that term very loosely) for young adults during which we sit around and enjoy each others company while discussing various topics about our faith. Tonight's topic got me thinking a whole lot, and I still am. I will definitely do another post later with the thoughts that I finally "settle" on, but I would love some feed back from y'all. The feedback isn't just to hear the various responses, but it is also somewhat selfish on my part as I look for ways that work for me during my time of discernment as an Inquirer (or Pre-Inq. right now).
So, here is the question- How do you make out what is your voice and what is God's voice?
Take this question however, and please answer. I honestly don't think there is any ONE answer to this seeing that we all go about our faith differently. So, comment away! (Please!)
So, here is the question- How do you make out what is your voice and what is God's voice?
Take this question however, and please answer. I honestly don't think there is any ONE answer to this seeing that we all go about our faith differently. So, comment away! (Please!)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)