It is really unreal how much the topic of unconditional Love
has come up in my life lately. In Theology class, wedding vow renewals,
children’s worship, late night conversations with all walls down, phone
conversations… I feel like it has been a huge theme of the last week. It is very interesting reflecting on the
different points of view, different questions, and different answers that have
come up. I have even had a huge mix of
feelings about it in response to different things that were said. But after much thought (and distraction from
what I should be reading), and now through writing this purely to try to figure
out to how to word my thoughts, this is where I stand-
First, unconditional Love- what in the world is it? Well, it
is just that- Love that is unconditional.
Love that doesn’t care what you do or say, what you think or feel, what
you deserve or need- it is Love that is there 24/7 no matter what happens. I would even venture it call it “big L Love”
just as we call the whole Church body “big C Church”. I find this appropriate also because the only
person truly capable of this unconditional Love is God.
In today’s children’s worship I taught the story of the good
shepherd (Psalm 123) - it went something like this (putting scripture aside for
a moment and breaking out some Godly Play action):
There once was a man
who did and said such wonderful and amazing things that everyone wanted to be
around him. However, they didn’t know
who he was so one day someone finally asked, “Who are you?” And he told them “I
am the Good Shepherd.”
“I know each of my
sheep by name, and they know the sound of my voice and follow where I
lead. I lead them to green grass and
clear still waters. When there is
danger, I lead them through to safety, and lead them home. I count them one by one, and if one is
missing I will go anywhere at anytime to find it- to the green grass, the clear
still waters, and even where it is dangerous.
When I find them, I will carry them home no matter how heavy they are or
how tired I am. When all of my sheep are
home, only then will I invite my friends and celebrate with a feast.”
After telling this story twice this morning, I got thinking
about a recent event with a friend, and one that I honestly had given up
on. To be vague and honestly make a very
long story short, earlier in the year a very close friend and I came to terms
with each other. Looking back on it, it
wasn’t necessarily a nasty fight or anything like that, things just kind of
came to a close for a while. I missed
them more than anything but didn’t have it in me to reach out, and I don’t know
that I would be wrong in saying the feeling was mutual. This past week we finally talked and established
that no matter what we were always friends and Loved each other and blah blah
blah. I couldn’t help but relate to the
story of the lost sheep when I reflected on this earlier today- even though we
were lost, we found each other and went home and celebrated with our friends
(some of you might find the humor in that…).
In other discussions this week I have heard everything from “There
is no way that I deserve unconditional Love from anyone” to “if it really is
unconditional Love why did that happen?”
Neither of these is easy to address, but here is my short answer (and
complicated) - no one deserves unconditional Love, but we have it from someone
who doesn’t care about anything beyond the fact that we are their children. And I’m not talking about our parents, who do
strive for unconditional Love I am sure, but it is rather from God. God gives us this unconditional Love in a way
that exactly matches the definition and put forward earlier. It doesn’t matter that we screw up, it doesn’t
matter that there are plenty others- each one of us is given this incredible
gift, no questions asked. Whether you
choose to accept that Love isn’t an issue either- it is there and waiting
whenever (and if ever) you are ready to accept it. It is a truly incredible concept. I can’t answer why God felt so inclined to
give this gift, and I especially can’t answer why things go wrong even though
we have this gift- all I can say is that it is there and it is wonderful.
Here is the kicker.
Our human, earthly, conditional, different leveled Love comes nowhere
close. No matter what we do, we can not
give unconditional Love. However, we can STRIVE for it. That is the best we can do. When I think about the vow renewal ceremony I
went to yesterday, or look at big sister as she gets irritated as all get out
at her two small daughters (or even think about me when I get irritated with
them), look at my parents and their almost 29 year marriage, and think about that friendship I mentioned earlier (and many others) I
can’t help but see that people are at least trying to get there. I realized today that is what keeps me going-
my desire to get as close to that unconditional Love as possible. By lunch today I was honestly sick and tired
of people asking how I am so happy, talking about what a good person I am, and
more of what I thought of as pure BS (sorry for that), and not made better by
the fact that I have never taken compliments well, especially when I don’t feel
I deserve them. I do not see myself in
that light at all probably because I know that I have more faults than people
know, but as I spent a lot of today and especially tonight thinking, I have to
lean towards the fact that what they are seeing is my desire to get as close to
that unconditional Love as possible. As
I told someone tonight, “blame it on me being in seminary where that is
basically all we talk about.”
So, a weeks worth of thoughts and a final push tonight to
try to put into words ends up here. No,
I don’t think we deserve this unconditional Love. We are one screwed up group of people with
more problems than anyone can begin to count.
But we have it. This
unconditional Love is a free gift from God and is just that-
unconditional and we don't have to do anything for it. It is something that each
one of us can strive for in our own relationships, but we will ALWAYS
falter. There will be an argument that
causes months of silence (or snide comments to replace silence… I am most
guilty of that one), there will be times when you want to at the very least
slap your significant other, there might even be times you just let go and can’t
keep pushing. Does that mean that we shouldn’t strive for it? Not at all. Bad things will happen, but we can always turn
to one person and see that example to set us back on our path because God will
ALWAYS Love us, no matter what. And
maybe a pet… who, lets face it, are the second best representations of
unconditional Love.
“…and if one is
missing I will go anywhere at anytime to find it- to the green grass, the clear
still waters, and even where it is dangerous.
When I find them, I will carry them home no matter how heavy they are or
how tired I am. When all of my sheep are
home, only then will I invite my friends and celebrate with a feast.”
