When you almost lose someone

I'm gonna try to post this once more, because every time I have tried lately, I couldn't quite figure out what to say.

As many of you may know from my facebook posts, my sister Felicity has spent a lot of time in the hospital this week. Just so y'all have some background, Felicity is my older sister (26) and is married with two beautiful girls (23 months and 8 months). Way back before Emmalyn (the youngest daughter) was born, my sister started having gall stone attacks (we did not know this at the time). After several months of these attacks that doctors were saying were anxiety attacks, she was sent to Pitt County Memorial Hospital in Greenville on January 17. She was sent here rather than Wilson because they had determined that she had pancreatitis and had possibly lost 80% of her pancreas.

Well, after several days in the hospital it was determined that a gall stone had attacked her pancreas and eventually led to the loss of 95%+ of her pancreas. They determined that they would have to remove the gall bladder but they couldn't do this until she was more stable. Turns out she had been in ICU and no one expected her to live a week, so this was going to be a very long and stressful wait. Well, she was eventually stable enough to go home for a while and they planned a date for the surgery.

Unfortunately, Felicity wasn't home long before she had to return to the hospital with severe pain (and more I believe). While waiting in the ER, she had another gall stone attack. This was a blessing in disguise as they moved her surgery up a week. So she went into surgery around 7:30am on March 10 and came out ok but in pain. Well, she recovers and goes home again.

Only a few days later, guess who is back in the hospital? Turns out the staples were causing a great deal of pain as well as many other issues that just put her over the edge. So, I head to Greenville to relieve mom (who has been there every night but one since the very beginning!!). I stay two nights with Felicity as they begin to back her pain meds down and try to get her going on a new regimen for home. Finally, she is released and everyone is home and happy. At this point she has spent 43 nights in the hospital, made harder by the fact that she didn't get to see Eric or the girls much at all.

Well, we thought we were finally finding our way out of this mess and Felicity called at 1am this past Sunday because she had to go to the ER with more pain and vomiting blood (doesn't this sound like so much fun??). Mom was in Greenville by 3am. Well, turns out there was a pinhole in her bowel, her stomach was swollen and pushing on her pancreas, and she was dehydrated. After sending a camera down her throat they also found out that the place where they were draining a cyst into her stomach had closed. They have scheduled a surgery for Friday to fix this, but they will have to reopen the last cut that is healing and she will have to go through the recovery process all over again.

It's been a very long road and a hard one. Mom has been with Felicity almost every step of the way. Dad and I have been home while he fields phone calls and emails from everyone. I am just trying to keep things as normal as possible, occasionally going to Wilson to help with the girls or to Greenville to give mom a change of pace. Sunday will mark 3 months of this hell that we have been in, but hopefully we will also be working our way out. I say "we" because while Felicity is the one in the hospital bed and going through the extremities of everything, everyone has suffered knowing that we almost lost her 3 months ago.

I will say that this whole thing has shown the power of prayer. People all over the world have been praying for my sister since day 1 and we all greatly appreciate it. These prayers have brought her away from what the professionals thought was the end and made her stronger. However, I am going to ask that you not just pray for Felicity, but also for my mom who has stayed by her side, her husband Eric who is still working full days before going home to take care of the girls and sometimes making it to Greenville if the cards fall in the right place, and for those little girls who miss their mother terribly. Everyone keeps saying it will only take a week for this to be behind him, but we need to be able to get to a week that they can really be with their mother. Addison (23 months) is terrified every time her mother leaves the house, and Emmalyn (8 months) doesn't even know what is going on, only that her mom isn't able to be home with her. While they may not remember it 10 years from now, it is still very fresh in their mind now!

That was long winded, but that is the fullest update I can really give. Please continue to keep them in your prayers, as well as my father who is the strongest man I know (even more after this!). If you would like to send her a card just send me a message and I'll give the address for her current location, but definitely keep the prayers goin up to the big man!!

Freedom from religion???

On my way into work today I saw a few new billboards that disturbed me, but didn't at the same time. I don't know if anyone else has seen them but these billboards show a picture of a person with a quote about leaving religion behind and being free-thinkers and what not and they are sponsored by the Freedom From Religion Foundation.

I will be the first person to recognize our right and the importance of free speech, especially when it comes to freedom of religion. After all, I use this blog as a way to speak my mind on religion and my faith. I am also one that believes that we should not judge others based on their religion and that the most important part to me is that you have SOMETHING that you believe in, although I do lean strongly towards Christianity. I know that a lot of people would think that I am a terrible Christian for not wanting everyone to be Christian, but Jesus wasn't even Christian... for me it is just important that each person has a strong value system that they can truly believe in and base their life on.

So why do these billboards bother me so much? I mean, I don't get bothered when I see the billboards with messages from God or for Christian radio. The commercials for churches don't bother me (too much lol). So why do billboards about freedom from religion bother me?? I think a lot of it goes back to something I read in a book I got for high school graduation. "Wishful Thinking: A Seeker's ABC" by Frederick Buechner really puts it all into perspective for me when he explains that Atheists are really just full of it because they say they don't believe in a higher power, yet they believe in some way.

"To say there is no God means among other things that there are no Absolute Standards" says Buechner. He goes on to use this example- "An atheist may believe with all his heart that murder is wrong, but if he runs into somebody else who believes with all his heart that murder isn't wrong as long as you can get away with it, there is no Absolute Standard by which it can be shown that one view is better than the other, just as there is no Absolute Standard by which it can be shown that vanilla is better than chocolate." Continuing with Absolute Standards, "What is American is Right and what is un-American is Wrong. What is ethical is Right and what is unethical is Wrong. What works is Right and what doesn't work is Wrong. These all bring God back under different names: Nationalism, Ethics, Pragmatism." He goes on to use an example of finding a beaten child on the front cover a tabloid. "To be consistent with his creed, an atheist can say no more than that to beat a child to death is wrong with a small w...The atheist holds the tabloid in his hand and asks the question, Why should such things happen? Atheism can reply only, Why shouldn't such things happen? But he keeps on asking." And finally, my favorite quote from Buechner- "A true atheist does no dance on the grave of God. The laughter of faith in God is like Abraham's laughter when God says his ninety-year-old wife is in a family way..."

Atheist means to not believe in a deity, but can someone really look at something and say it just appeared and not be able to say from where? It doesn't matter where you believe it came from, the point is just that you believe. In my mind, if you believe in something than that is a form of religion. In fact, religion is defined in multiple ways all centering around "a particular set of beliefs".

So why do these billboards bother me? It isn't because people are speaking out against Christianity. That happens everyday and I really don't let it bother me but so much because I know what I believe and that is what matters to me. They bother me because they are speaking out against something that they are in fact celebrating. By placing "Atheist", "Humanist", and "Nontheist" after their name, they are claiming a religion- exactly what they are speaking out against.

At this point, I am curious what your thoughts are. Does it bother you to find these billboards popping up? Do you like the idea? Am I completely insane for having these mixed feelings about them?


Buechner, Frederick. "Wishful Thinking, A Seeker's ABC" 1993. pg. 2-5.

Even the most ordinary can be extraordinary

First, watch this video.

Did you watch it??? Ok. Good.

Kinda tough, huh? Probably because we are all guilty in some way, of bullying. I know I do it every day. Sometimes I don't say it out loud, but I do think some really bad stuff when I see some people out there. I can't help it though! No excuse? I know. Just keep that in mind next time you say or think something that you know you shouldn't.

NOW... pick up your Bible and go read 1 Samuel 16: 1-13. Ok, ok... here ya go:

1 The LORD said to Samuel, “How long will you mourn for Saul, since I have rejected him as king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and be on your way; I am sending you to Jesse of Bethlehem. I have chosen one of his sons to be king.”
2 But Samuel said, “How can I go? If Saul hears about it, he will kill me.”
The LORD said, “Take a heifer with you and say, ‘I have come to sacrifice to the LORD.’ 3 Invite Jesse to the sacrifice, and I will show you what to do. You are to anoint for me the one I indicate.”
4 Samuel did what the LORD said. When he arrived at Bethlehem, the elders of the town trembled when they met him. They asked, “Do you come in peace?”
5 Samuel replied, “Yes, in peace; I have come to sacrifice to the LORD. Consecrate yourselves and come to the sacrifice with me.” Then he consecrated Jesse and his sons and invited them to the sacrifice.
6 When they arrived, Samuel saw Eliab and thought, “Surely the LORD’s anointed stands here before the LORD.”
7 But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
8 Then Jesse called Abinadab and had him pass in front of Samuel. But Samuel said, “The LORD has not chosen this one either.” 9 Jesse then had Shammah pass by, but Samuel said, “Nor has the LORD chosen this one.” 10 Jesse had seven of his sons pass before Samuel, but Samuel said to him, “The LORD has not chosen these.” 11 So he asked Jesse, “Are these all the sons you have?”
“There is still the youngest,” Jesse answered. “He is tending the sheep."
Samuel said, “Send for him; we will not sit down until he arrives.”
12 So he sent for him and had him brought in. He was glowing with health and had a fine appearance and handsome features.
Then the LORD said, “Rise and anoint him; this is the one.”
13 So Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the presence of his brothers, and from that day on the Spirit of the LORD came powerfully upon David. Samuel then went to Ramah.

Got it?? Ok good... now watch this video. I know, its kinda long but it's Disney so who really cares??

Now... see any similarities between the scripture and the video?

No?

Re-read the scripture, but instead of Jesse (the father) use the evil step-mother. Instead of Samuel, think of that crazy guy with the eyeglass. Instead of the brothers, think of the stepsisters. Finally, instead of David, think of Cinderella, the girl who has been shunned and forgotten because of her "unimportance". NOW do you see it?

Now, think back to the first video and the young lady who was shunned as an outcast because of her sexuality, appearance, and anything and everything else. Kinda similar, huh?

But here is the catch- we can judge outward appearance all we want, and we do. We have all had it happen to us, and we all do it to others. But when is the last time you heard of God saying "nope, that girl is too fat... I can't love her" or "that boy can't play basketball at all... no way is he coming into my courts" or an even more common "NOPE... they don't look like me or act like me and I just don't understand them. They won't be showing their face around here if I have any say in it, and by the way, I am God so I do have a say". NEVER. Why? Because God has made us all in his image and focuses only on our hearts, not on our hair or athletic ability or language or skin color or sexuality or religion or weight or what jeans we are wearing... get it yet?

So here is the final key: God made us in his image, but that doesn't do much good if we don't act in his way. When we make judgments on people before we know them, not only do we miss a whole lot, but we are doing serious damage. Think back to the girl in the video. Now, it may not always be that extreme, but you never know.

My example???

During the spring semester of my Junior year I was in a class that taught us how to teach (figure that one out). There was this guy sitting across from me that seemed nice, but he definitely didn't act like everyone else I hung out with so he never really caught my attention to the point that I went out of my way to hang out with him. Even worse, I never realized he had been in at least one class with me every semester up until that point! Another reason why I didn't take a second glance? Easy- race. He was black, I was a flirtatious white girl, and that just didn't happen. Wanna see something kinda funny? Look at my facebook profile picture- that handsome guy that has me smiling from ear to ear? Guess who that is. I finally took the time to get to know him one afternoon when a bunch of us went to dinner together and found out that he was a pretty ok guy... ok enough that I have now been dating him for almost a year. I could have missed out on what has been the best year of my life, all because I judged a book by it's cover rather than actually reading it like God would do.

So just think next time you start to make a judgment or make a negative comment. You might be talking to a girl like the one in the video... maybe you have come across the very unimpressive little kid that God has called on to be king... maybe you are in a situation like me and are about to miss out on a pretty incredible relationship... maybe you will get lucky and nothing will happen (HA! not likely).

So lets actually live up to the image we were made in, and act the way that God would- judge by the heart, not the outward appearance because even the most ordinary can be extraordinary.

The church needs to grow UP

PC(USA) has a new curriculum out called "Deep and Wide" that focuses on four main areas (Evangelism, Discipleship, Servanthood, and Diversity) that the church can and needs to explore more in a variety of ways. Rev. Emily Odom has been leading a discussion about Deep and Wide at my church over the last few weeks and today we focused on the idea of servanthood, very convenient since that is basically the focus of my call. I found it very interesting that we spent just a few minutes talking about all of the things that Starmount is doing in the way of service (The Lost Boys, a community garden, GIHN, Mexico Missions, missions at home... the list goes on for a while), but we spent almost 45 minutes talking about how to get youth involved in service (even more the focus of my call).

I find it very interesting how seven people can sit around a table and talk about how important it is for youth to be involved in the church and service, but as much as I love my church, it will take a long while for most of what we were saying to happen. This isn't anything against my church, it just seems to be a trend I am seeing lately in all churches- they like to sit around and plan to plan to plan to plan... but never IMPLEMENT. Problem #1 with a very simple solution.

I told the group about an incident at Summer in the City this past year when I was cutting packs of toilet paper in half at a food pantry here in Raleigh. I remember standing there with two eighth grade girls and asking them a question I asked every year, "Why are you here when you could be home sitting by the pool or playing video games? Why did you pay money to work when I am sure your parents have plenty of work you can do at home?". As always, their answer almost brought me to tears when one of the girls responded "Because I have so much, and they have so little". WOW. Here is the thing though- these kids DON'T KNOW that this is the case until they SEE it! We can tell them all we want, but it means nothing until it becomes reality (and this aint The Hills reality...). The hardest part of making this a reality for them is that parents and other adults in the church think the kids won't want to work. NEWSFLASH: the kids at my church have REQUESTED to do more service... the kids at Summer in the City REQUESTED that we knock out a day at the lake so they could do more service. Sure, initially they may say no because of the unfamiliarity of the situation, not to mention the fact that the "cool kids" aren't doing it. That is the point when the adults need to take initiative and make it happen- just like getting into cold water, you aren't going to slowly get in- you are going to JUMP IN.

So here is what I mean by the church needing to grow UP-

We need to put more focus on helping the youth serve and here is how it works for the church:
1) Youth want to serve, so we find somewhere for them to serve
2) Parents chaperon on said service project
3) Parents go back to their circle, Sunday school class, friends, etc. and tell them about the trip
4) HOPEFULLY they get excited and chaperon the next one and spread the word again, all while the kids are bringing their friends
5) The excitement of service moves UP through generations!!

It isn't terribly exciting for the youth to see "old people" serving- that is "just what they do" as far as all the kids are concerned, but when "old people" see the kids excited about serving it can renew a spark in them and get them involved as well.

I SAW this happen first hand when I directed Summer in the City and know that it can happen at any church if we just stop planning and actually IMPLEMENT. The youth are the future of our church and unless we start getting them involved in stuff they are REQUESTING and need spiritually, we won't have much of a future.